As the Sun Sets on 2012/13...

As another season draws to a halt following the conclusion of the 'notly' anticipated Confederations Cup, the pale crumb laden armchair football fan is again thrust into the ungrateful arms of their loved ones, and/or cast out into the faeces filled countryside, and under the uncharacteristically Viagra blue skies of Britain's summer. And for the terrace going fans (both of them), it's time to swap the lager, Levi's and Adidas Gazelle's for either total wardrobe amnesia courtesy of 307 'Jagerbombs' in Magaluf, OR, for the more discerning fan (Roy Keane's prawn sandwich brigade), don the jaunty boater for a spiffing afternoon at the cricket pitch with Cecil and Montgomery.

But before all this family, great outdoors and sobriety drives you uncontrollably towards hari-kari, lets remind ourselves of how the last 10 months have been passed so pleasurably/tolerably.. (*Disclaimer - I am not responsible for the wellbeing of any masochistic QPR fan who chooses to scroll on..) 

Having outlined a football supporter's plight at this time of year I am reluctant to depress you further... but, in truth, this season's top flight was the greatest procession since every single Formula 1 race meeting at Monaco ever. At the right end of the table, serial champions Manchester United relentlessly ground out results without ever really dominating opponents, whilst at the foot of the league, QPR and Reading put up a level of resistance the likes of which only Paul Jewell or the French Armed Forces would be proud of: -

As a result, and as the table above illustrates, coming into the final Sunday, the only meaningful fixtures were those involving the Champions League aspiring duo of Arsenal and Tottenham Hotspur... 

...And as predictably as a child movie star winding up at The Priory, Arsenal's plucky accountant driven outfit came out on top of AVB's Spurs - cue Arsene Wenger's hideously embarrassing over-celebration in which the 200 year old Frenchman squeezed the life out of poor Mikel Arteta ([literally] what had he done!?)

(note Mr Arteta's substitute
issue tracksuit top)

. In the interest of fairness, the justification for such remarkable behaviour was that in ousting their North London rivals, Wenger's Arsenal comprehensively proved the doubting press and public wrong... 
...finishing as they did 16 points behind top of the table Manchester United, and ending the season trophy-less for an 8th consecutive year! B-R-A-V-O. Still, the advancement to this season's knock-out stages of the Champions League, aptly named in Arsenal's case, had an estimated worth of £40m (according to a study undertaken by sponsors MasterCard). If Arsenal's aim is financial stability, and it is plain it is, then the mediocre manner of their qualification for 2013/2014 will be irrelevant to the football phlegmatic Mr Kroenke.

The season then, though splattered with the usual moments of individual genius (think Matthew Lowton strike vs. Stoke (see below)) and the odd multi-goal thriller, eventually something of an anti-climax; especially in comparison to the cardiac busting conclusion to the 2011/2012 campaign!

But it is perhaps not just the predictability of the outcome that will concern the Premier League's global followers...

The quality of the league in general appears to have declined, or at least stagnated, since the heady days of the mid to late 'noughties' - when our domestic game produced 6 Champions League finalists in only 5 years. This comparative decline was played out most tangibly in this season's Champions League where English Champions Manchester City, and the cup holders Chelsea, both crashed out at the group stage; whilst, as stated above, Arsenal stumbled in a first knock-out round which also put pay to the hopes of Manchester United (aided by someone masquerading as a referee).

Possibly buoyed by their own shortfallings during the Premiership's 'glory years' (2005-2009), the Euro-disco fraternity have invested heavily and appear to once again have established their superiority... as Bayern and Real Madrid evidenced in ejecting Arsenal and Manchester United respectively.

But what has changed?

Finances are an inevitable factor. I don't wish to patronise with a CBBC-esque economics lecture, but whilst UK PLC has been bogged down with toxic debts, the 50p tax, and a GDP growth model that emulates the terrain of the Bonneville Salt Flats, Germany [comparatively] has recovered and stabilized following it's own 2009 crash. This apparent monetary advantage has manifested itself in the Bundesliga producing Europe's largest attendances and also generating this year's Champions League Final duo of Borussia Dortmund & FC Bayern. (Bayern laying to rest the ghost of Chelsea 2012 and running out 2 -1 victors in the contest. Just one crown of a hattrick achieved by the lederhosen adorning institution this term)

It is not only the Germans who have seen their comparative spending power against the Premiership increase, however. As I touched on, the rise in UK top rate tax has accentuated the existing issue created by "The Beckham Law", in which non-residents of Spain are taxed at a flat 24%... I must point out, other tax breaks are also available. The result of course is that a UK based entity has to expend vast additional gross wage sums in order to match many foreign based players 'take home' salary. In an era of footballing mercenaries and global materialism, this wage disparity is doubtless a contributory factor in the Premiership's apparent slide.

Furthermore, the all conquering Bayern have brought quality individuals such as Javi Martinez (£35m) & Arjen Robben (£21m) into their respective league without losing the core of their side (Schweinsteiger, Lahm et al), and the two Spanish giants have matched them blow for blow. Whilst in England, the bundles of cash and beautiful weather on offer in Spain (how dare they!?), has led to significant departures from all of the Premier League's elite clubs; think, Cristiano Ronaldo, Xabi Alonso, Javier Mascherano, Cesc Fabregas, Thierry Henry.... Alan Hutton!?

This issue has been multiplied by the decline of former stalwarts of the League; England's supposed "Golden Generation". As Benjamin Franklin didn't quite say, "But in this world nothing can be said to be certain; except ageing and taxes". With time then marching relentlessly on, injuries, retirements, and gradual decline in influence, were all certain to catch up with this exceptional group of players... Let's face it, glaciers could catch up with certain members of this clique now (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gklWJk6z2A0). What perhaps couldn't be foreseen however, was the void in home-grown talent ready to replace the individuals listed below. Of those still playing, each is still regarded as the cornerstone of their club and would likely waltz into their respective national set-up if made available, or fit enough: -

• The opposing captains in the 2008 Champions League Final, John Terry and Rio Ferdinand (the victim of the previous link).
• The Chelsea goalscorer in the 2008 Champions League Final, Frank Lampard.
• Stephen Gerrard, who was Liverpool's captain in the 2005 & 2007 Champions League Finals.
• The Arsenal goalscorer in the 2004 final, Sol Campbell.
• The everlasting Ryan Giggs, who has featured in 4 Champions League Finals (obviously not a member of The Three Lion's "Golden Generation" - though most English wish he had been)
• Notable others: Carragher, Neville, Scholes, A. Cole..

In the absence of young domestic based players to fill the not insubstantial boots of those above, it would be natural to expect the cream of Europe's talent to act as the Premier League's proverbial Zimmer-frame, as has happened historically; cast your mind back to the purchases of Shevchenko from AC Milan, Hargreaves from FC Bayern, and Torres from Atletico. However, rather than stealing away our European competitors prize assets, in recent seasons the headline moves have been between domestic rivals - Nasri, Adebayor, Van Persie, Torres, Carroll et al. The net result of which is twofold: - 1. that the league as a whole is unable to progress, and 2. that the foreign clubs have kept their star individuals and built their stature in the game.

It will be fascinating to see how last season's poor performances, coupled with the extraordinary boost in broadcasting revenue, will effect the purchasing strategy of England's elite this summer... a renaissance may be just round the corner. 

FINALLY
In order to keep to my word, and to prevent the Samaritan's telephone lines jamming, I will follow an age old managerial format and conclude the dismal appraisal with a positive message...

Despite the apparent shortfallings in Europe's premier competition, and the mundane nature of the top domestic league's conclusion, there was still much to capture the imagination this term...

The football league has again been flourished with high attendances, nail biting action up until the season's final aimless punt, the level of managerial turnover you'd expect at a well known fast food establishment, and of course the silky skills of David Dunn... what more could any discerning football fan wish for?
  

In addition, Wigan showed us that the romance of the FA Cup hasn't deceased, like that solitary Wycombe Wanderers or Wimbledon fan in our local would have us believe, and is in fact as alive and as amongst us as Alistair Darling's eyebrows.

Heading into the FA Cup final, the soon to be relegated Wigan Athletic faced the then Premier League 2012 purchasers Manchester City, and honestly, you could name your own odds at the bookmakers if you wanted to back Martinez's XI on your way to the mental asylum.

But with spirit, courage, and even a splattering of talent, Wigan ran out historic victors against a lacklustre City side. The David vs. Goliath feel to the fixture intoxicated all, hence the celebrations in the location I watched the game wouldn't have been more extreme at a Wigan supporters club meet; something that was echoed the length and breadth of England (Stockport aside). 

(where's Wally? John Terry having again played no part
in the European final seen celebrating in full kit
 complete with shin pads, boots, ankle tape, VapoRub,
 captain's armband, Under Armour...
anti-racism wristband)

And finally, after all the aforementioned European mis-adventures, it would be a huge disservice to Chelsea if I did not mention their Europa League success. Having been unceremoniously bumped out of the Champions League, Chelsea capitalised on the fact that 16 of Europe's top sides were participating in another tournament; beat heavy-weights Steaua, Rubin Kazan and Basel; and emulated behemoths Middlesbrough and Fulham by reaching the prestigious final. They eventually ran out 2-1 winners over Benfica to cement their place as one of the top 17 clubs in this continent.. truly epic!

Thanks for taking the time to read my self indulgent blog.. I trust if you're a connoisseur of lists and/or mis-punctuation that you feel it was time well spent.. for everyone else, I send my sincere apologies and refer you to my reading list for an antidote.

BC
please follow at: -
https://www.facebook.com/groups/262906063816351/
@BobbyCowsill
http://bobbycowsill.blogspot.co.uk/

2012

So ends 2012... And what a year in the sphere of sport it has been! Undeniably the most dramatic Premiership conclusion ever, European Championships in Ukraine and Poland, and the London Games, to name just a few headline moments.

But before I pick out a selection of highlights, culminating in an excuse to attach a clip of Ashley Williams’ attempted murder of Robin van Persie, and/or endeavour to crowbar Stephan Feck's Olympic dive into a football blog; it is customary at this time of year to first spare a brief thought for those who have been less fortunate than yourself during 2012.

(Above: Stephan Feck-ed up dive. I've done it, and in record time! We can all go and read Football365 now - phew!)

In fact, I personally fall into this isolated collective for which 2012 shall bruise like a punch from Claire Balding - my beloved club having been on the receiving end of a certain, now infamous, footballing moment. I feel it is essential that I remain impartial to prevent the alienation of sectors of my audience; however I can reveal, that such is my support for this given club, that if you sliced me open, I would bleed red! no, I really would...

   

Let’s start with the fans of our beautiful game based in the West of Glasgow - rivaled in their ill contempt for 2012 only by those who previously supported their now famished families through the retail of solar panels to inhabitants of these saturated isles. 
Rangers were liquidated in spring 2012 as the result of a declined CVA Proposal, and thus, the phoenix operation were demoted to the Scottish 3^rd Division for the 2012/2013 season; as dictated by precedent. The Rangers faithful are now likely to endure their bitter old firm rivals Celtic, strolling to Scotland's premier trophies for the foreseeable future... whilst they endure arduous away ties at Elgin City and Annan Athletic (http://bobbycowsill.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/follow-follow-on-we-all-follow-team-12.html) Still, at least the 'Teddy Bears' are now marginally solvent! (unlike John Carew and Lee Hendrie, who were both made bankrupt in 2012)

A large portion of Lancastrians had a rather rough year too - before hoards of burgundy chino and navy-blue gilet wearing home-counties folk pass eloquent comment... no there was not a national flat-cap shortage! (And it’s rude to stereotype) There was however, a notable shortage in silverware and points amassed: -

• Bolton Wanderers and Blackburn Rovers were relegated from England’s top flight... to the surprise of literally a hand full of... well Steve Kean maybe.
• Liverpool (part of historic Lancashire) swapped managers again following a flat 2011/2012 which culminated in FA Cup Final defeat.
• I won more at Paignton's penny arcade than Manchester United managed in the calendar year.
• Blackpool lost in the playoff final to a late Ricardo Vaz Te goal.
• and, Rochdale were relegated from League 1 after amassing a total of 8 wins in 46 games.

There was, however the small matter of Manchester City's first title success since 1968 to cheer up a portion of the county: circa 26,000 people according to unofficial records (47,805 less  the away allocation of 1,800, less 20,000 empty seats). A last gasp goal from Sergio Agueroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo an emphatic, and in many ways fitting, end to a roller-coaster season for the Citizens.

(the quality of this recording is absolutely no reflection of it's legitimacy)

Messi
Elsewhere, with a bitter-sweet undertone that conveniently ties my opening gambit to the core of the text in a fashion that is in no way contrived or tenuous... I am pleased to report that Gerd Muller has been given the all clear having choked on his bratwurst and sauerkraut at his vorort-einfamilienhaus in December. Reports surfacing from Germany suggest that the incident was the result of witnessing Lionel Messi surpass the 90 goal in a calendar year mark and hence obliterating Muller's 'untouchable' record of 86 goals, dating back to 1972. 

Though Messi's tally is impressive, and will subsequently be printed in the next Association Football Almanac, it's worth noting that despite his free scoring, the pint-size Messi remains some way short of Godfrey Chitalu tally; or so the highly respected Zambian FA claim. The African based association have launched an official challenge to Messi's new record, claiming their man bagged 107 in the same year Muller notched 86 (1972)... an equally valid claim has been made by one of the bigger boys at my primary school, who comfortably netted in excess of 400 goals during the summer term (witnessed by both 'Shirts' and bitter rivals 'Skins'). For completeness, an even greater number of notches in a 12 month period was clocked up by Englishman William Roache (AKA Ken Barlow), though no official challenge is expected.

Ballon d'Or
Sticking with Messi, as the ball so irritatingly does, he was confirmed this week as the 2012 FIFA Ballon d'Or winner for an unprecedented fourth time; thus categorizing him as not  just one of the all-time greats, but also as the undisputed arch-enemy of Cristiano Ronaldo... and Real Madrid.. and the Brazilian nation.. and of the ancient art of tackling.. and of goalkeepers (overprotected or otherwise).. and of football purists.. and obviously of scouts the length and breadth of Britain who still believe footballers should be over 15 stone and bearded by their 8th birthday. 
The award, traditionally given to the 'best' player in Europe (the caveat being: if no stand-out candidate exists then the player who has least affiliation to the Premier League triumphs), was presented to Messi at the annual ceremony in Zurich last week. Whilst sporting a stylish dinner jacket formed from forgotten fashionista John Virgo's mislaid waist-coats, the Argentine took the opportunity to thank everyone who will help him win the award in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, and 2017... before he eventually fists the ball over the line in a World Cup quarter final, tests positive for Ephedrine, gains 5 stone, and winds up with $37 million in tax liabilities.  

FIFPro World team of the Year
As an entree to the individual award, FIFA also announced their 2012 World Team of the Year; or La Liga Team of the Year as it transpired: -

5 Real Madrid players (inc Casillas who is not shown), 5 Barcelona, and Falcao of Atletico Madrid the final selection. You will note the total absence of players based in any non-Spanish league structure, despite strong showings from a number of non-La Liga outfits during the calendar year:-

• Borussia Dortmund - German Champions, DFB-Pokal winners, and 2012/2013 Champions League Group D winners (beating Real Madrid, Ajax and Manchester City on the way). Hummels, Reus, Gotze, and Lewandowski all huge contributors.
• Chelsea - 2011/2012 Champions League Winners. I've seen more aesthetically pleasing dogs mess, but the Blues were effective and defended superbly at times. In addition, they put pay to Barcelona's hopes in the semi-finals. Cole, Cech, and Ivanovic crucial members of Chelsea's resolute defense.
• Bayern Munich - the beaten 2011/2012 Champions League finalists, who knocked out Real Madrid en route. Schweinsteiger, Lahm, Gomez et al key to Bayern's numerous near misses in 2012. 
• Manchester City - woeful in Europe but Premier League Champions nonetheless. Aguero, David Silva, Hart, and Yaya Toure some of the league's stand out performers.
• Juventus - Serie A champions, and Coppa Italia winners. Marshalled by Buffon and Pirlo.
• Van Persie - though not technically a club, he is however a one man team! RVP steered Arsenal to a cherished 4th place in the league in 2011/2012 contributing 30 Premier League goals along the way; before moving to Manchester United where he has been directly involved in... well everything (see http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/premier-league-united-mid-table-without-van-persie-113317544.html). 
• Bradford City - the Bantams beat an Aston Villa side who drew with Swansea; Swansea in turn drew with Manchester United; who comfortably beat Champions League winners Chelsea... take what you like from this, but statistics clearly point to Bradford being the best team in Europe... so why no acknowledgement in the snappily titled FIFPro team of the year?

You will note that a contingent of players mentioned above also had good showings for their respective national teams at the European Championships this year; traditionally a platform on which such accolades are chosen - Pirlo, Reus, Hummels, Lahm, Buffon, and even cAshley Cole performing admirably at the summer tournament..

Conversely, Pique and Ramos have had fairly average years at club level but were part of the European Championship winning Spain XI (http://bobbycowsill.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/football-round-up-19612.html)... undeniably a fantastic side, but I doubt an amalgamation of the best defensive individuals.

To add to the mystery, Lahm and Hummels were also overlooked in favour of Dani Alves and Marcelo, two players who made no mark at the International level during the calendar year, and whose respective club outfits were beaten by those of the German pair. 

Bearing in mind the above, it is no surprise that FIFA's selection has been met with derision from certain sections of the media... especially in Britain and Germany - And I have great empathy with the German argument. I do however have my doubts about the British claims...  The achievements of Chelsea in the Champions League were truly epic, but sadly not reflective of Chelsea's/England's current standing in global football. As I demonstrated earlier, one win over Barcelona doesn't make Chelsea the best team in the world; otherwise Bradford City have a claim - and I imagine only Dean Windass honestly believes the Bantams are "by far the greatest team, the world has ever seen".

Lacklustre Champions League displays by Chelsea this season support the damning prognosis. In fact, poor performances have been something of an endemic amongst all England's participants, and will doubtless contribute to the absence of their employees from the FIFPro World XI. Of the 24 games played by the Premiership's 4 elite clubs, only 10 wins have been mustered up (4 of which came from unconvincing Manchester United wins over glorified pub teams)! In contrast, the 'Euro-disco' fraternity from the Bundesliga managed 11 wins from just 3 competing entities... the results: - Bayern, Dortmund and Schalke topped their respective groups; whereas the Chelsea and Manchester City owners were left to console themselves with poxy super-yachts, and villas in the south of France...

FIFA Club World Cup

Whilst Manchester City's passports retired to the 'man drawer' to accompany the multitude of batteries that may or may not have any remaining power, Chelsea did at least get a shot at redemption in the form of the FIFA Club World Cup - A tournament that pits the winners from each football federation's premier club championship against one another.

Given that the Asian Football Confederation were given two representatives, Oceania entered Auckland City (a collection of the country's failed Fly-Halves), and that the African outfit were always likely to struggle in the absence of their trusty witch doctor; it was no surprise  that Chelsea were the most fancied to prevail. Sadly though, or joyously, depending on your persuasion, Chelsea suffered shock defeat to Corinthians in the final... and thus Benitez, and Chelsea as a whole, missed their shot at redemption.

Justice
And finally, as promised, THE controversial football related issues of 2012. As aforementioned, Robin Van Persie was nearly killed by a cold, calculated act of violence from Swansea centre-half Ashley Williams during December's Premier League clash at the (not generic in any way, fully enclosed, 2005 concrete built on a former brown-field site) Liberty Stadium; I attach a video of the incident for your analysis. *disclaimer: - due to the gratuitous levels of violence contained within the footage below, you may wish to purchase popcorn. 

Needless to say Sir Alex was typically reserved in his post-match analysis, "[it was] absolutely deliberate.  The whistle's gone, the game has stopped and he's done that a foot from the player.  He could have killed the lad - it's a disgraceful act and he should be banned for a long, long time" - good to see he's mellowing with age.
As it transpired, Ashley Williams was allowed to continue free of charge, in a miscarriage of justice the likes of which happen literally all the time.
I hope therefore you will join me in what I expect will be the largest quest for justice football has ever seen...

There is obviously a rather opposing member of the Proboscidea family in the room produced by the above text; that of course being the 'Justice for 96 Campaign'.  Though sombre, and not at all in-keeping with my usual pointless commentary on football, I could not end an article on 2012 without mentioning Hillsborough.  After years of campaigning and heartache, Liverpool fans finally had their names cleared when, on the 12th September 2012, the Hillsborough Independent Panel concluded "that no Liverpool fans were responsible in any way for the Hillsborough disaster". The findings have subsequently led to numerous apologies from prominent members of government, as well as the resignation of the Chief Constable of West Yorkshire Police.  Investigations are ongoing and political fallout is expected to be far reaching.  Keep abreast with developments by following:-

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2013/jan/02/hillsborough-disaster-inquiry-challenge-police

Thanks for reading. Please join/follow at the links below.

BC

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BobbyCowsill

Facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/groups/262906063816351/

The Round-Up 29 November 2012

(the definitive Mo for Movember
- though I fear he may have raised
awareness of same sex relationships as
opposed to male health)

You won't be surprised to learn that the story dominating this week's football headlines has been Michael Owen's outrageous, 'I wear buttless chaps at the discotheque on a Friday night' style, mustache. The monstrosity, seen left, was thrust into the national gaze by his appearance on Sky Sports' Champions League coverage of match day five. I recall a certain air of disbelief filled my local drinking establishment as the broadcaster's cameras panned round to reveal Owen's hair ravished philtrum for the first time. Further, you could witness the withering of other rival facial shrubbery, and the associated wedding vegetables, adorned by many of the locals... Michael Owen, a man who until Wednesday week had been rumoured pre-pubescent, was now the shining beacon of manliness (I imagine a certain brown condiment company will be in touch imminently).

Unfortunately for Owen though, his valiant hair growing attempts appear to have been in vain, Chelski instead plumping for the textbook goatee fashioned by full-time waiter and aspirational manager Rafa Benitez (seemless continuity link there). The Spaniard replaces one time wonder-maker Roberto Di Matteo, ironically a victim of poor Champions League form, at the helm of Roman Abramovich's Chelski; and that, I'm told, is a FACT.

Mr Benitez, the once, or possibly current, sworn enemy of the Stamford Bridge faithful, was reported in Chelski's pre-match programme to have taken the poisoned chalice as "interim first-team manager" -Abramovich likely to resume his long-term pursuit of Pep Guardiola as the season draws to a close.

(Di Matteo again finds himself
out of work despite bringing success
to a club, and in spite of his
popularity amongst fans) 

Now I appreciate many high profile managerial vacancies have come and gone (predominately at Chelsea!) since Benitez parted company with Internazionale in December 2010; however, surely Chelski's blunt admission is an insult to a man who guided Valencia to two La Liga titles, and a UEFA Cup; as well as helping Houllier's Liverpool 'smash and grab' the Champions League in 2005.

To irritate Benitez further, the reception he received from Chelski's supporters during their game with Manchester City on Sunday was audibly, and unmistakeably, hostile - despite Benitez's post-match claims that he "had not heard" the boos (whilst simultaneously dabbing his eyes with a tissue from his second box of floral scented Kleenex). Still not satisfied with their new boss' mental state, in the 16th minute of the game, the aforementioned fans morphed in a manner popularised by Robert Louis Stevenson, from a raging animal, into a placid and sombre collective, in order to show respect and gratitude to the outgoing Di Matteo (formerly Chelsea's no.16).

(A jibe at comments Benitez made
about Chelsea during his
Liverpool tenure)

Di Matteo was not alone however in his race to Job Centre Plus on Monday morning; Mark Hughes, having been relieved of his position at lowly Queens Park Rangers, was following on behind - as his side have been all season. With 13 games gone (one since his dismissal), Hughes' former men have managed to nearly win a grand total of... A game. This frankly Derby-esque level of futility has left the club from West London seven points adrift of safety, and bottom of the Premier League (even behind Liverpool!). Sparky's replacement and the man drafted in to evade relegation, amongst other things, is 'if that had gone in, it would have been a goal' regular 'Arry Redknapp. Redknapp has already been observed conducting the obligatory drive-by interview through a wound down window; and heard building up the enormity of the job (only Harry Houdini and Redknapp himself can save them apparently)... we await the familiar yet obscure "top top" loan signings... Jorge Mendes will be rubbing his hands together.

Reverting to this weekend's disappointments, assuming that Redknapp's return to football isn't one, it's worth noting that none of the previous candidates; Benitez, Di Matteo, Hughes, Chelski's alienated fans etc, actually win the accolade for the week's most disgruntled entity. All are thoroughly usurped by a Japanese journalist hoping to attend the summit clash in Scotchland's mighty fourth tier...

So miserable was this man's plight that The Daily Mail even took time out of their busy scaremongering schedule to report the story, "Daisuke Nakajima packed his bags, booked his tickets and began a 6000 mile journey from Tokyo to Moray to watch the Ibrox giants [Rangers] take on Elgin City in the Third Division. But, after a 14 hour flight, an overnight stay in Edinburgh and a five-hour journey, it was only as his train was a few miles from Elgin's Borough Briggs football ground that he realised the game had been called off".

With no air of smugness whatsoever, I refer you to a previous blog post (Nostradamus eat your heart out!):-
http://bobbycowsill.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/follow-follow-on-we-all-follow-team-12.htmlh

(Nakajima shown above - it's
alleged this photo was taken on
the red carpet during the premier
 of 1984 film Karate Kid in which
he starred (still not there??)...
as Mr Miyagi)

It's clear that Mr Nakajima is NOT one of my regular four readers, as though the above report was an excuse to extract the Michael from the lower echelons of Scottish 'football', it did highlight a genuine concern I harboured prior to Rangers demotion... a fear that last weekend became a reality.

Mr Nakajima, along with several thousand other expectant spectators, was turned away from the Moray ground due to security worries. Elgin City Football Club, a club that usually caters for two home fans and their carers, seemingly incapable of coping with the demands of hosting a well followed outfit such as the 'Gers. Subsequent reports have revealed that the home ticket office allowed sales to exceed the ground's maximum capacity by circa 25% (meaning they sold 5 tickets I assume), forcing authorities to pull the plug last minute. The host's punishment for this logistical error has been a £25,000 fine, an order to pay Ranger's expenses, and the equivalent of an ostrich size egg on the face. Still, it's not all negative for those affiliated with Elgin... at least their team avoided the inevitable pasting; AND, given that the region contains the world famous Malt Whisky Trail, no one will remember the incident by now anyway!

Thanks for reading (scrolling to the bottom of) this article.
I would REALLY appreciate any feedback, and please please pass it on if you enjoyed it.
Thanks again.
BC
Twitter: @BobbyCowsill
Facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/groups/262906063816351/

The Olympic Stadium, London

I understand that 'if that had gone in, it would have been a goal' is advertised as a football blog, and that my readership (a fella named Dave) demands that it remains so; therefore I must open by informing you that this piece will eventually stumble upon the topic (a bit).

In the meantime...
Reports last week revealed that London's mop topped mayor, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, has been in talks with the National Football League (NFL) over the potential for the London Olympic Stadium to host the most un-Olympic of sports - and I don't mean Boris' much championed 'wiff-waff'. The proposal from Senior NFL officials (seen below) provisionally includes the staging of NFL regular season american football games at the Olympic Stadium, with exploration into the formation of a London franchise to be undertaken (presumably named 'The Allies'). Before you grab for the brown paper bag, I must clarify that though discussions have been "encouraging", they are still very primitive in nature and described only as "exploratory".

(presumably taken during negotiations -
Boris can be seen 3 from the right)

Still, the whole affair baffles me... I mean how on Boris' glistening wet otter ridden, picaninnies inhabited, zoink of an Earth did the NFL officials have any idea what was actually said during these liaisons?  and furthermore, does BoJo actually know what he's signing his beloved capital up for? The glitzy and brash 'Gridiron' would have been somewhat usurped by rugger, fives, pony club trails, and homoeroticism, during his Etonion and Balliol days.

I appreciate the interest from State-side: to expand the global audience, and generate obese quantities of dollar - much as the Premiership has been doing over there. Afterall, it's been a disappointingly successful experiment at the home of football (no, not the Sports Direct Arena), in which on all six occasions, NFL match-ups have sold out Wembley; something the national association football team regularly fails to do. In fact, such has been the popularity of these events, that London has even been touted as "the natural home of American Football outside the United States" - the UK being the obvious choice given our appreciation of US culture, lack of domestically developed sports, proximity to NFL HQ, and overall aptitude for the game - Clearly, Canada doesn't fit the bill. Overall though, where does this proposition, or unguarded economics in general, fit into the British legacy of the games?

(Barry Hearn: Leyton Orient Chairman
  & agent provocateur to Ronnie O' Sullivan)

It has been well publicised that securing the Olympic Stadium's future has, and continues to be, fraught with trouble; however have politicians become so desperate they we need to sell(out) abroad? THE beautiful game, a game which we Brits actually shared with the world (stupidly), has been desperate for a new facility in London for a number of years. Tottenham Hotspur, West Ham United, and Leyton Orient (famed as one of the biggest clubs in Leyton; and something to do with their owner), have all expressed a desire to take up residency.

I am not endorsing any particular football club's bid, however I do support the overall ideology. Football is much more in keeping with the Games' legacy than 60 overweight men, laden with pads and paychecks, chasing a peculiar shaped ball for 60 mins; but at 20 second intervals. Let's be frank, nothing is more steeped in modern British culture than football, and as the Olympics were presented as the essence of contemporary British-ness (thank you Mr Boyle (not Frankie)), there's an argument to say they should stay that way. I appreciate that this intangible notion of national identity is dated, but many, as I do, believe this summer's games captured 'it' (what ever 'it' is) - i'm hoping Russell Brand's eccentric performance was the exception.

Opinion will doubtless be divided on this subject (it may apply to both aforementioned items but i'm currently referring to the Games' legacy, not Russell Brand), but the Olympic stadium has the chance to remain a sanctity of sport, quintessentially British, and opposed to yet further bland corporatism (I appreciate the World's biggest McDonalds was/is sited in Olympic Park) - A national treasure in the mould of Dublin's Croke Park perhaps? Wembley, the Millenium Dome, as well as countless other venues, have all bowed to financial might; hosting gigs, concerts, NFL and so on... and I see no reason for this to discontinue, afterall I do understand the financial necessity in doing so. But surely this market is saturated now!? can there really be sufficient demand to support a further globalised arena in London? There must be a risk the Olympic Stadium would only be stealing business away from incumbent facilities that have become so dependent on it; and thus there MAY even be an economic argument for limiting the Olympic arena's additional usage.

West Ham United's proposal as a multi-purpose sports facility is favourite to win out when the final decision is delivered in December; and given correct additional usage and sanctity of the stadium name (no one wants to see the 'Mates Condoms Arena'), this could be an appropriate outcome. A club that represents East London would be guaranteed it's base in the East-End; and, in addition, the retention of the athletics track would provide a high-profile athletics arena going forward, as well as retain an ounce of the spirit of the games...

BUT I do not think it fitting, or in keeping with the legacy, to see this diluted by nightly performances from P-Diddley & his hippedy-hop cronies, or by Janet Jackson exposing her wobbley bits.. and as for NFL, "there's a guy called Mitt Romney who wants to know whether we're ready, are we ready? No we're*insert profanity* not!".

I would appreciate your feedback on this self-indulgent splurge... please provide writing to the details below.

BC
Twitter: @BobbyCowsill
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/groups/262906063816351/

EPL - Relegation Candidates

(It's just been announced that the BBC have commissioned a further series of  Dancing on Ice)

As things stand, teams which receive the fewest points suffer the dejection of relegation to the Championship (the obvious name for the 2^nd tier of English league football)... and worse still, the subsequent trip to Millwall. It's worth noting that the relegation phenomena is likely to become extinct in due course - probably following consultation with some wishy-washy, parent & teacher society types, that hold more sway than good old fashioned common sense, and who feel that the effect of public failure on young, Ferrari driving, Miss World fondling, males is too great. For the time being however, let's embrace relegation (like Leeds United fans have) and discuss the likely candidates: -

WEST HAM UNITED
Literally nobody's favourite cheeky cockneys have returned to the top flight following a variable season in the 2nd tier; this time under the guidance of the equally popular, unusually christened, pass & move repellent, Big-Sam Allardyce. The Hammers bring with them a proud history of football related mischief, and on the rare occasions football actually breaks out, a track record of exciting and/or legendary players; think Bobby Moore, Trevor Brooking and Paulo di Canio

To carry the mantle for the next generation, Big-Sam has added the likes of Jarvis, Benayoun, and of course Andy Carroll, to a playing staff already containing Kevin Nolan and 'goal of the season' contender Matty Taylor. With this calibre of player on board, a proven Premier League manager at the helm, and that ruddy 'blowing bubbles' song ringing round the compact Boleyn Ground, I'm sure West Ham will have enough to establish themselves as a Premiership club once more.

If all else fails, Hammers fans can soften the blow with hospitality 'Wilson Pickets', and ten 'Richard Gere's' with celebrity fan Ray Winstone, or Russell Brand, or Ross Kemp, or Lee Hurst, or Danny Dyer, or John Cleese, or James Corden, or Richard E Grant, or Billy Bragg... that's a supporters club party I must attend!

NORWICH CITY

Despite being the epitome of the domestic goddess, Delia has lost her man to some lowly has been, from the not so prosperous Aston area of Birmingham. Lambert's now rumoured to be chomping down on a reheated Tikka-Masala; a bitter blow to Delia no doubt. The man drafted in to lift Delia's melancholy, the popular but largely unproven Chris Hughton... or at least he's popular for now; it won’t last if City lose 5- 0 to another mid table side as they did on opening day.

Their second clash was an intriguing affair against QPR; and it must be said neither side looked Premiership quality on the back of heavy first game defeats. The final score was a goal a piece and in all honesty both sets of fans were relived just to get their points tally off the mark.

A late equaliser by the fabulously named Snodgrass, an off season acquisition from (dirty) Leeds United, salvaged Norwich's most credible result of the 2012/2013 season so far - a one all draw with a much changed Tottenham Hotspur.

Given these inconsistent results and the infantile position of the season, it's difficult to predict Norwich's final league position; however the common belief is they're likely candidates for the relegation dog-fight. Personally, I am concerned by their lack of fire-power, and also by the onset of '2nd season syndrome'. A squad of now seasoned Premier League players, should, in theory, generate improved performances, but without the excitement of last term, and the momentum carried forward from promotion, they may struggle to reproduce at the same level... especially given the aforementioned exit of manager Paul Lambert.

WIGAN ATHLETIC

Martinez is STILL the manager of the Latics, despite having to install a PO Box address specifically for job offers. Given the teams that he has reportedly turned down in the last couple of years, it can be concluded that he either adores pastry imprisoned meat, or he's holding out for the Real Madrid job. Either way, someone's loss is most definitely Wigan's gain.

Wigan embark on this new campaign without a number of historically influential figures: Rodallega, Diame, and most notably Moses, have all departed for pastures new; with Kone brought in to address the forward shortage.

Not surprisingly then, the Latics start to the season has been underwhelming, the highlight a characteristic win against fellow strugglers Southampton; 2 - 0 the final score. And it's this ability to get results at the right time, cast your mind back to giant killings against Manchester United and Liverpool at the tail end of last term, that I predict will propel Wigan Athletic to survive again... watch for a 6 - 5 home win against Villa on the last day of the season, and survival on goals scored... cue the inevitable pitch invasion, in which some enormous fan wearing his team's shirt like a boob-tube falls flat on his face negotiating the advertising hoards; and Martinez gets lifted on high by the invading fans, before being presented with the dishonour of 'Freedom of the borough of Wigan'.

QUEENS PARK RANGERS

It doesn’t seem to matter who takes to the pitch in QPR colours, their results are erratic. Afterall, their personnel turnover is rivaled in history only by that of the Red Army in WWII, yet the club's results have not reached any sort of equilibrium.

This characteristic has generated a side that is often a treat to behold, given the number of goals they score, and the lorry loads that they ship at the other end. But it's this fragility mentally that worries me (and worries the purists (whoever they are!?)). Clearly signings such as Julio Cesar, Park Ji-Sung, Esteban Granero, and Jose Bosingwa add much needed quality and experience but I fear the mid- 2000's may phone at any moment and ask for their players back.

In addition, can players such as these reproduce the top performances QPR desire after taking such obvious backward career steps? Cesar was previously at Inter, Park at Manchester United, Granero at Real Madrid, and Bosingwa at Chelsea; yet they must now train as hard (if not harder given their age), and be as committed on the pitch, when the goals are no longer major trophies but narrow wins against the Premiership's lesser sides.

Given the above, I estimate QPR will survive by a whisker, on the back of their new stars' professional pride... but nothing at QPR would surprise me! (except a run of steady 1 - 0 wins)

ASTON VILLA

Following a dire campaign in 2011/2012 which saw the Villans finish 16^th, score a miserly 37 goals, and bore anyone who saw them into a vegetative state, it was no surprise to see the anti-footballing Mr McLeish replaced by the considerably more adventurous Paul Lambert. Lambert must have felt given the historic status of the Birmingham based club, the vast support, and the frugality of the previous season, that he was on to a sure thing...

Four games in, and two defeats later, the enormity of the job in hand must now be all too apparent. Having lost the curtain raiser to West Ham by the odd goal, they were then comprehensively thrashed by an in form Everton outfit at the end of August. September's fixture against last year's surprise package, Newcastle United, will have made the international break that bit more relaxing for Lambert; and their recent win over little Barcelona (Swansea) has eased pressure further.

But... The squad, despite suffering with injuries/illness (get well soon Stan), looks weak throughout; and unless reinforcements can be found, it could be another eye-sore of a season at Villa Park.  It will be surreal to see a top-flight bereft of former European Cup winners Villa, but I do fear this could be their farewell tour. I watched them on numerous occasions last season, and I can honestly say they were the most gutless side in the league; and as the table portrays, fortunate to avoid the drop. Unless Lambert can find some of the magic that propelled Norwich to safety in 2012, I just can't see this squad turning it round... especially without Emile Heskey!

READING

Sporting a pair of uncompromising centre forwards (Pogrebnyak & Roberts), and more importantly, a rather dashing kit, Reading fans have every right to be hopeful about survival.

The problem is, no side in the history of the league has stayed up or bagged silverware on the grounds of aesthetics, (Tevez simply wouldn't win a thing) or mindless optimism.

The league table, as it stands, reflects the above; Reading sit 19th and are yet to win a game, despite what really is a handsome jersey. In the Royals defense their start has been a tough one; commencing with games against Stoke, Chelsea, and Tottenham; and they have also played a game less than the teams around them.

Despite this, and despite the aforementioned pairing of Pogrebnyak and veteran Roberts (I was at his 50th celebration last January), my gut instinct is they'll be back in the Championship in 2013/14... note to self, must get my hands on one of those shirts.

SOUTHAMPTON

It’s great to see the Saints return to the top division, though it is bit of a shame they aren't playing at the battered up old shed they called 'The Dell' anymore. Just the name gets football fans all misty eyed these days; reminiscing of goal machine Ostenstad, part-time nose farmer Le Tissier, and obviously Ali Dia (http://www.heavensports.com/football/curious-case-ali-dia/)... not forgetting 6-3; grey strips; and Souness' moustache.

Promoted sides usually carry momentum, and to a certain extent Southampton have; sterling performances against the two Manchester giants evidence of this. But unfortunately they have no points to show for their efforts. More worryingly though, have been displays and results, against Wigan, and latterly, a pasting at the hands of Arsenal. They desperately need that first home win if they are to turn things around, and Saturday's game against Aston Villa could be crucial.

It shouldn't be ignored that they have excellent infrastructure and some quality individuals (Ramirez, Lallana, Lambert), but unfortunately for Saints fans, their demotion to The Championship is the most predictable event since child star Lindsay Lohan went off the rails and wound up on the pages of Playboy... how we all eagerly anticipate the meltdown of 'The Saturdays'.


Here is the foot of the table as I predict it will look come the end of May: -

14	West Ham United
15	Norwich City
16	Wigan Athletic
17	Queens Park Rangers
18	Aston Villa
19	Reading
20	Southampton

*Please note, Liverpool probably should be in there somewhere..

Thanks for reading

BC

@BobbyCowsill

Facebook group, "if that had gone in it would have been a goal"

http://www.facebook.com/groups/262906063816351/

Please share and provide comments... or abuse.

PREMIERSHIP 2012/13 - A Forecast

The start to the 2012/2013 Premiership season has begun in the same surprising vein as the Olympics departed in – the epic hype, an escalating budget, and the weather forecast predicting doomsday levels of precipitation; somehow producing an Olympics which was, well... superb (how very un-British! We’re far more comfortable when things are just a little bit crap (see British Leyland)).

With this in mind, followers of certain clubs will certainly be feeling content with their inauguration; the likes of QPR and Norwich both slumping to heavy opening day defeats. Conversely Swansea City fans will be rather embarrassed by their start... how crass it is to win in such style.

Having studied the prospective squads, and taken account of the differing fortunes of the competing entities thus far, I have formulated my prediction for the coming season and my rationale behind the irrational.

      

Here's how the top of the table could have turned out (until I predicted it) (the rest of the table can be found in my subsequent blogs so keep an eye out for your side) : -

Position	Club
C	Manchester City
2	Manchester United
3	Chelsea
4	Liverpool
5	Arsenal
6	Everton
7	Tottenham Hotspur
8	Newcastle United

MANCHESTER CITY

Roberto Mancini may have an English vocabulary comparative to Tinky-Winky, but he’s certainly grasped the English art of moaning; most of his summer frustration aimed at Sporting Director, Brian Marwood, over the lack of transfer activity - Marwood proving a rather safer target than chairman, and signatory, Khaldoon al Mubarak.

Despite the whinging, City have a wealth of talent; the confidence that comes from being incumbent champions; and have still spent in excess of £10m on Jack Rodwell. In addition, there were further acquisitions on transfer deadline day; including, Fiorentina’s Nastasic, and the completion of Scott Sinclair’s protracted transfer from Swansea. The picturesque Carlos Tevez has also returned to Manchester (once the air-stewardess and Zabaleta finally persuaded him to get up out of his seat) and has started superbly; picking up the opener in City’s tussle with Southampton, and the equaliser against Liverpool last weekend.

With all these factors in mind, it’s difficult to see past City in the 2012/2013 race for the title... The strength in depth and ability to spend in January if required, meaning that City will doubtless be the bookies favourites.

Their rivals will be focusing on their weaknesses though – City’s play can be rather one dimensional at times; narrow and patient, yet there were times last season when City fans were crying out for plan b (though I’m not 100% sure what his unique amalgamation of song and rap could have done to influence events). The departure of Adam Johnson to Sunderland could possibly highlight the lack of natural width further, as well as highlight Mancini’s single minded approach.

MANCHESTER UNITED

Manchester City’s rivals from just across the Atlantic could well prove to be their sternest on field test. The Manchester Red Devils have added to last year’s roster by drafting offenseman RVP (as their Designated Player (probably)), quarterback Kagawa, cornerback Buttner, and rookies Powell and Henriquez.

At certain stages of last season, Rooney’s points (goals and assists) carried United, and winningest Head Coach, Sir Alex Ferguson, will be hoping that Van Persie can ease this burden by repeating the stats that saw him earn the “Rocket” Richard Trophy in the 2011/2012 season. 

In addition, Kagawa can not only sell condominiums full of jerseys in the Far East (site of a great US victory between 1955 & 1975), he has also proved in pre-season that he has an eye for a pass; and therefore that he could be the creative spark in the neutral zone that United have missed in the past few seasons.

Kagawa got his full debut as The Reds went 0 & 1 in a disappointing opening match-up with the Toffees; a soccer match dominated by Fellaini. The Reds did recover against Full-Ham however, and new signings RVP and Kagawa netted in a 3 to 2 win; RVP’s dunk an awesome volley from just inside the 18 yard line. The win was however marred by a bogus injury to strong-arm centre, Rooney. 3 league points so far but more to come...

After all, United struggled in certain regular season fixtures last year, as well as all 4 knock-out trophies; and this was at least in part due to lacking the marquee names in the first line - no one doubted the squad as a whole, but the 1st team didn't match-up against some of their rivals. It’s clear though that RVP and Kagawa strengthen that team sheet substantially; and with the rookies to bed in, defensive lineman Ferdinand and Evans to return, United are almost certain to improve. Expect to see Fergie’s men in league contention right up to the wire... before 2 overtime markers deny them. O-M-G, enough already!

CHELSEA

If you’re an expensive foreign footballer, you’ve been linked with and/or signed for Chelsea during the summer break: - Hulk, a pair of Hazards, Schurrle, Dempsey, Azpilicueta, Van Der Wiel, Falcao, Marin, Oscar... Santi Munez. Which of these names has actually signed on the dotted line is known only by Mr Abramovich; we can safely assume Roberto Di Matteo had nothing to do with it.

I have seen Eden Hazard run out for Chelsea though, and very impressive he has been too – directly contributing to 5 of Chelsea’s 8 goals so far this season – leading to whispers around the Bridge that only Eden Hazard’s ego is greater than his ability.

Despite huge concerns over the lack of options at centre forward following the departures of Drogba and Lukaku, a factor that I predict will prevent them actually winning the title this season, their squad does look strong and therefore they can’t be written off entirely.

 In addition, their ploy of playing more games than all the other Premier League teams looks on paper to be bomb-proof; they already find themselves 3 points clear having implemented this.

LIVERPOOL
Former football team Liverpool, have once again changed their management in the hope that their mediocre squad miraculously grow perms and tashes, slip into some tiny shorts, and relive the 80’s. Brendan Rodgers the latest man through the revolving door at Anfield; an alarming choice of entrance given the area’s reputation.

Having started abysmally against West Brom; losing 3 nil! Rodgers’ philosophy of ticky-tacky football was far more evident against City last weekend. Obviously their display was no Barcelona or Swansea, but the performances of Joe Allen and Raheem Sterling will be very encouraging to the scouse faithful.

Unfortunately however, the change of mind-set was also Liverpool’s eventual downfall against City; Skrtel gifting a back-pass to the lovable Tevez when attempting to retain possession.

IF Rodgers can instil his beliefs into the playing staff, Liverpool fans can expect to see some entertaining football at Anfield this year; and finally see some better results. I personally think they’re some way adrift of the aforementioned 3 outfits and are therefore locked in a battle for that precious 4^th place spot and Champions League qualification - especially given the lack of players into the club this summer, when compared to the exodus out.

It's likely to be a ‘do or die’ season for Liverpool, expect to see them either riding high or in no-mans land. Personally, I anticipate them shaking off their poor recent form and excelling under Rodgers' guidance... just not this year.

ARSENAL

Returning to my theory that Brits are happiest when things are mediocre, there must be every chance that Arsenal fans are the most content individuals in the country. After a somewhat lacklustre performance against Sunderland on the opening day, in which they created very little, Wenger’s much changed outfit took the Megabus (there are other bus services available) to Stoke-on-Trent. The outcome of their 2^nd fixture was a similarly flat performance. In fact the majority of the action was on the terraces, where t-shirts had been printed up by Stoke City fans mocking the Arsenal boss, and sporadically throughout the 90 minutes both sets of fans did the ‘Wenger’ – an exaggerated shrug/arm wave that is sure to be a dance-floor sensation. 

So, two games into the new season and two nil-nil draws against mid table sides; hardly top 4 form. There are positives for Wenger to take though; defending has become Arsenal’s Achilles Heel over the past few seasons, yet the usually fragile back five have yet to concede a goal. In addition, new boy Santi Cazorla has been very tidy in possession, as you’d expect from a Spanish attacking midfielder, and given time to gel with the other new bodies around him, could prove to be Arsenal’s pivotal player.

It cannot go unmentioned however, that Arsenal have allowed another key figure to leave the dressing room. Following the departures of Adebayor, Toure, Clichy, and Nasri to Premiership rivals; and Fabrgas and Song to Barcelona; last season’s top marksman Van Persie has now said a frosty farewell to the Emirates and signed for Manchester United - If the opening games are anything to go by, RVP will be much missed... Giroud. Donkey. Arse. Banjo... spring to mind.

The lack of goal threat, and the general slump in club morale, is the reason I feel Arsenal will finally miss out on Champions League qualification this season - following on-field failure expect to see Arsenal Holdings PLC employ numerous overpaid consultants before deciding there's more money to be made in other market sectors.

EVERTON

True to form The Toffees have had a slow start to the new season; taking a full 57 minutes to find the back of United’s net in a 1- 0 win - The scorer, 8’ 5” Side Show Bob doppelganger, Marouane Fellaini.  The result was no more than Everton deserved from a dogged, well organised display in which the aforementioned Fellaini tormented the Red Devils.

This form was then carried into last weekend’s game at Villa Park, in which Moyes’ men took apart a hapless Aston Villa. Evertonians could barely believe their eyes as their side cruised to a 3 goal advantage at half time; the pick of the goals a ‘worldy’ (appealing to the lowest common denominator there) from Pienaar. So impressive was the first half performance that the usually dower David Moyes pointed out to the BBC that, “I don’t think you’ll have enough viewing time to show all the chances [that were created in the first half]”. 

With Fellaini in such rampant form, Pienaar reinstalled on a permanent basis, and a number of 11th hour deals on deadline day, things are looking rosy in the blue corner of Stanley Park. In addition, the possible resolution of a long standing centre forward scarcity means for the first time since Cadamarteri, Jeffers, Ferguson, and Madar, Everton commence the season with a number of available and/or quality centre forwards at the club; see Jelavic, Naismith, Miralles, Vellios, and Anichebe (I must stress the “available and/or quality”).

I have predicted a final position of 6^th but given the scouser’s ‘form’ there’s every chance they’ll steal a position higher up.

TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR

Player’s Manager of the Year nominee Andre Villas Boas has taken over the Tottenham reins from the squeaky clean, Droopy the Dog impersonator ‘Arry Redknapp. Unfortunately for AVB, the team’s inauspicious start has already forced hoards of fans onto the phone-in’s to question Mr Levy’s pick.

The opener was a 2 – 1 defeat at the hands of Les Geordies, and game 2 a goalless home draw with an un-fancied WBA side.

In spite of these flat results, and the concerns of numerous fans about Modric’s departure and AVB’s arrival, I believe like last year Spurs will again push hard but probably finish just shy of Champions League qualification. Multiple deals on the final day, including the purchase of Lloris, and Dempsey (proven international players), can only solidify Spurs as a top 4 chasing side, but I'm afraid I too remain unconvinced by AVB’s management style. An essential part of modern club management entails the motivation, and extraction of respect from, the overpaid egomaniacs that call themselves the playing staff (despite the fact the majority never play and thus have yet to achieve anything in life); however, I’m dubious of AVB’s ability to shine in this department (see Chelsea). He may well have an astute knowledge of international football and tactics, but will he provide the right guidance to propel Spurs? I doubt it...

NEWCASTLE UNITED

Given that magpies are so partial to shiny objects, Newcastle have been alarmingly profligate; their last piece of silverware the Fairs Cup in 1969. Despite a sterling performance last season and a solid start to this; a 2 - 1 home win against fellow 4th place aspirer's Tottenham Hotspur the highlight; it's a certainty that Newcastle United will be without the illusive league title for a further year.

This comment is however worthless, as Pardew's Foreign Legion will be aiming for European qualification primarily; with potential for success in a domestic cup competition.

The squad has been strengthened slightly by the acquisitions of Anita et al; but their great transfer success has been the retention of Ba, Tiote, Cisse and  Coloccini. Though Cisse is unlikely to repeat his stunning form of last season, there is no doubt that in their two Senegalese forwards Newcastle have two of the best in the business. The aforementioned names will surely fire the Magpies to another respectable season; though I predict the wave of momentum that carried them to near Champions League qualification will not be repeated this term.

Thanks for reading

BC

@BobbyCowsill

Facebook group, "if that had gone in it would have been a goal"

http://www.facebook.com/groups/262906063816351/

Please share and provide comments... or abuse.