THE ENGLAND SQUAD – An Overview

Following the international events of last weekend.. the launch of ‘If that had gone in, it would have been a goal’ (obviously), I now bring the literally handful of people who read my previous piece on En-ger-land, the follow up article.

(England squad 2012 (as at 16 May 2012))

On 16 May 2012, we sat in eager anticipation for former Switzerland, and Finland coach Roy Hodgson to announce his latest international squad. The latest remit, though clearly less glamorous than the aforementioned two, to see England through its next memorable (forgetful) chapter. The names Hart, Jones, Oxlade-Chamberlain, and Welbeck were all present... as I personally hoped. Players who have had an eye catching 12 months with their respective club sides, and whose development in the period has been rapid. The prospect of a new era of young talented Englishmen, playing without fear, and taking England into the next World Cup, filled me with the kind of excitement you only experience when you find the toy in the Rice Krispies box. This squad was surely the next step in the Football Association’s bold new plan for the future: -

1.       Appoint Roy Hodgson, over national treasure ‘Droopy the Dog’. Thus prioritising the development project at St. George’s Park, Burton-upon-Trent; and also ensuring that the national press would have less ammunition.

2.       Rewrite the format for youth football in England – namely the abolition of the highly controversial ‘rush keepers’ rule, and the inception of cones rather than jumpers for goal posts. I believe there is also to be a summit on whether it is strictly necessary to restrict scoring to headers and volleys.

3.       Take a fresh, hungry, squad of players, bereft of baggage, to the European Championships; the focus being World Cup 2014. (wait...)

Yes, as you scan the squad inclusions further, you note the same familiar names...  Gerrard, Lampard, and Terry, to name a few. For me, Gerrard and Lampard epitomise the failure of the ‘golden generation’. You don’t have to scratch around in your cranium long to recall legendary performances and breathtaking goals in the Liverpool red and Chelski blue respectively; yet in a combined 180+ England caps, and in 7 major tournaments, these moments are far more difficult to summon... Perhaps the pinnacle of Lampard’s England career being the goal against Germany at World Cup 2010 (Sepp ‘just sitting there getting’ Blatter continues to be sceptical of goal line technology!).

However, despite carrying the equivalent of Rik Waller in prior failure and expectation, there is no denying that messrs Gerrard and Lampard merit selection to the current squad on ability and also form (the latter a Champions League winner in 2012) – and what other factors are there? Granted they are not going to be part of England’s future, but their wealth of knowledge and experience could be invaluable to the individuals breaking through. (NB. Lampard has subsequently departed the squad with a thigh injury)

More controversial is the '3^rd leg' of my trio, Chelski club captain, and Wayne Bridge’s bff, John Terry. Ignoring for a moment his off-field turmoil; his club form has been stuttering to put it kindly. Against Liverpool at the beginning of May, Terry’s defending was more what you’d expect from a traffic cone in training than a premiership centre half - mildly inconvenient at best. Both ‘sympathiser’ Suarez, and Carroll, made Terry look cumbersome, aged and significantly short of international quality. In addition to his form, Terry’s temperament was also called into question when he let his teammates down on the biggest stage, the Champions League latter stages again (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GENmS26j3B0&feature=related)... this time by receiving an unfortunate red card as Alexis Sanchez backed in whilst he was doing some knee ups – Joey Barton knows how you feel JT.

Further to this, the ‘elephant in the room’, is Mr Terry’s impending court appearance over alleged racial abuse of Anton Ferdinand; due to be heard just days after the conclusion of the tournament (9 July 2012 (2 weeks post England’s exit)).

Taking these aforementioned factors into account; age profile, lack of form, and the public perception of Terry’s character, I think many believe Hodgson’s selection policy is confused. This is possibly highlighted further by those excluded; a number of which will fit the criteria for the 2014 travelling party: -

·         Adam Johnson, 24 – Premier League winner with thrifty Manchester City. A left footer who has considerably more OPTA columns occupied than the profligate Downing.

·         Micah Lincoln Richards, 23 – A full time body builder and part time colleague of Adam Johnson’s. Has the ability/physique to bully opponents in a way not seen since PE teacher Mr Sugden. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dP66T8ktiTA)

·         Daniel Andre ‘3000’ Sturridge, 22 – Champions League and FA Cup winner with Chelski, scoring 12 times in the process (1 more than booze hound Carroll). A versatile forward player with pace and feet faster than Michael Flatley.

Then there’s the Rio Ferdinand saga. I, like many, was aghast at his exclusion... the thought of no ‘Rio’s Euro Wind-Ups’ just being unbearable! And there’s the small matter of overlooking the former captain, who’s had a fine 2012, for “footballing reasons”. The Plug look-a-like himself tweeted, “what [footballing] reasons!!!!!???” (the #1 key had to be substituted following this outburst) and I think most would agree with him (Rio, not the #1 key). As capable as late call up Martin Kelly may be, not many would oust a fit Ferdinand to accommodate him! It stands to reason then, that John Terry is seen by Hodgson as an indispensible part of the England unit; and hence the possible destabilization of the dressing room, and inevitable media distraction, generated by also taking Ferdinand has cost the latter his place. “Football reasons”, not quite, but comprehensible. The issue develops however when you consider the much publicised basis for the Ferdinand family’s feud with Terry... Does the inclusion of Terry send the right message? If the two players’ inclusions are mutually exclusive, does Ferdinand’s form not merit inclusion ahead of Terry?

Throw in a number of players who have not been club regulars, and a number who have been regularly poor, and I was left feeling flatter than Geri Halliwell’s singing voice by the squad as a whole. The enthusiasm generated by the prospect of a new age, and a fresh philosophy, dampened like a geriatric’s pyjamas. I recognise that injury has played a huge part in this, denying us of Wilshere, Smalling, Rodwell, Walker, Cleverley and presumably Darren Anderton, but the squad still looks like it was largely selected on reputation. Form players such as Leon Britton (‘s got talent), and Grant Holt, were never tested; whilst a hugely disappointing Liverpool FC contributes 6 players. In addition, John Terry is chosen as a leader, and a character in the dressing room, whilst off field issues leave the public questioning his merits as a role model.  Personally, I feel dragging playboy Paul Scholes, away from Spearmint Rhino’s and the ‘red-top’ papers, and back into the white shirt, would have been a wiser choice.

By way of comparison, and having shamelessly stolen the idea from Sunday Telegraph columnist, Henry Winter, here’s my England XI of players unavailable, unselected, or injured (when I say ‘unavailable’ this means in international retirement; as opposed to retired from football, foreign, or pushing up the posies)

GK:         Ben Foster

DEF:       Richards               Ferdinand           Cahill                     Walker 

MID:      Wilshere              Scholes                 Lampard              A. Johnson                                         

FOR:      Crouch                  Rooney (unavailable for the opening 2 games)

I could have included a host of others: - Holt, Carrick, Cleverley, Britton, Barry, Etherington, Bent, Agbonlahor, Simpson... Heskey (now a free agent! I imagine only Job Centre Plus are receiving more calls than his PA).

Although utterly irrelevant, this side does highlight the options Hodgson had and also the shortfalls in the current squad. I’d have a sneaky fiver on my unavailable XI over Hodgson’s outfit. Where would you place your equitably priced pay day loan?

All this said, there is hope for the 3 oversized domestic cats! The squad is still full of quality, and with expectations lower than the Mariana Trench, we could yet be surprised.

The tournament started pretty well, expecially for the officials, and it's England's turn Monday night against the arch enemy... not Germany... no, not Argentina (it’s the Euros!)... France! to avoid the scuffles, you’ll find me safely tucked away in a bar near St. Pancras Station... see you there!

BC

@BobbyCowsill