GROUP B - 'The Group of Death'

Group B - 'The Group of Death' (we should have one at every tournament...)


(De Jong, World Cup 2010 -
arguably the most fearsome
tackle since Dion Dublin)

Day 2 of the Euros 2012, saw my tip for the tournament (you may have identified a theme), Die Oranje, come up against Qualifying Group H winners (a group that contained Portugal), Denmark. Goal machine Huntelaar was unceremoniously dropped to the bench by Holland manager Bert van Marwijk, in favour of Van Persie as the lone striker; with two defensive midfielders playing in front of the back four - softies, Nigel ‘Karate Kid’ De Jong (see right) and Van Bommel. Denmark on the other hand opted for their 10 most tattooed individuals and veteran Dennis Rommedahl (I read a book once that said he played for Charlton Athletic when God was still in shorts – maybe Ryan Giggs can confirm this).

The Dutch, for all their possession, didn’t create a huge number of chances but those they did were wasted. Van Persie’s legs, like Samaras’ and Kerzhakov’s before him, turning to jelly under the weight of expectation, resulting in a number of gilt-edged chances going begging. Whilst fellow superstar, and Bayern Munich’s man of the moment, Arjen Robben, shot harmlessly over/wide when he should have been passing, and passed the ball wastefully when he really should have pulled the trigger.

Denmark played to their strengths and hit the Netherlands on the break using Rommedahl and Krohn-Deli; the latter providing the incisive moment, as he dropped a shoulder, ghosted past Heitinga, and smashed the ball under Stekelenburg in the Dutch goal.

Huntelaar and then Van Der Vaart were introduced late on, but both failed to make the telling contributions required. The buck toothed Huntelaar spurning the best opportunity; latching onto the pass of the century from Sneijder before placing the ball into the midriff of Danish keeper Andersen.

Following this result, we were politely reminded that the Dutch lost their opening fixture in the 1988 Euros... They didn’t have the German’s in their group on that occasion however.

 Tournament specialists, and historic chums of Blighty, Deutschland, have brought another formidable squad to the Euros; containing promising young stars such as Gotze, Reus, and Kroos; as well as the familiar names of Ozil, Neuer, and Gomez. Their first opponents, 2004 losing finalists Portugal, would set up defensively in the hope to absorb pressure and counter through the meek and mild Ronaldo, and Michael Jackson’s illegitimate son, Nani (see left).

However, Announcer: “Mario!”, crowd: GOMEZ! headed the decisive goal in the 72nd minute; looping a wonderful header past Rui Patricio, following a deflected cross from the right. Frankly, the game had been most disappointing until this point, but the goal served to spark it into life. Portugal began to look more threatening and the game in general became stretched... 

Then, in the dying seconds, the moment of the game, and another contender for moment of the tournament; certainly for those at my local drinking establishment that I have the pleasure to call associates. Beanpole, Thomas Muller departed, and on jogged the replacement, to chants of “BENDER!” (preceded by the barely audible announcement of “Lars”). How the intelligent, mature, British public laughed (and tweeted (it was ‘trending’ within minutes)).

Afterwards some men ran round a bit, and a spherical object flew about a bit; then the final whistle went – and we were still laughing.


 June 13^th proved to be unlucky for those who back Denmark and the Netherlands; both sides left teetering on the edge of exit following defeats.

The Netherlands vs. Germany was the eye catching tie of the group stages as a whole, two hugely talented sides, steeped in history and rivalry; however, in truth, the game was rather one sided. The Dutch for all their possession created very little, whilst Germany, organised as usual, picked them off on the counter attack - Gomez twice the benefactor of clever passes from ‘the Brain’, Bastian Schweinsteiger.

The Dutch did get a lifeline midway through the 2^nd half; Van Persie’s stunning right-footed swinger leaving Neuer flapping at thin air. But, as has been the case so often before, rather than being galvanised by the goal, the neurotic Dutch imploded - Robben highlighting the psychological demons that haunt Holland by stomping off the opposite side of the pitch when his number was shown by the 4^th official. On his eventual arrival at the dug out, Robben proceeded to toss his jersey away and sit on his lonesome... I presume Robben will be unavailable for their final group game given the number of toys that must be retrieved and returned to his pram.

The result means that The World Cup finalists of 2010 are staring at expulsion from the competition, and truthfully, only have themselves to blame. As previously stated, they have opted for 2 holding players in the centre of the park, trading creativity for a resolute defence, yet have probably been the most languid side without possession. Rafael Van Der Vaart will surely step in for the leggy Van Bommel in game 3! (I hope so! my reputation down 'Ye Olde Pube' may ride on it)

Anyway, preceding the box office fixture above, was the clash between Denmark and Portugal; eventually finishing 3 – 2 to the Portuguese.

The game was a roller-coaster, first dipping in Portugal’s favour through goals from Pepe and, the prolific (Spurs fan will vouch for this) Helder Postiga; before returning to equilibrium 10 minutes from time. Ever popular, ever modest, Nicklas Bendtner, popped up with both Danish goals; AND popped down his shorts to expose, not the normal tighty-whiteys, but an endorsed pair of green  undercrackers... 1. Do you not think it presumptuous that Bendtner of all people wear these boxers? 2. 10/10 for initiative, but I hope a certain Irish betting company will ‘‘hear you’’, when you ask them for funds to pay UEFA’s fine.

The equalizer from Denmark had come on the back of poor finishing from Ronaldo; who really should have wrapped the game up on a couple of occasions. Varela’s thumping winner then, after 87 minutes, was met with a huge sigh of relief by Ronaldo and Co. Not only 3 points banked for Portugal, but an extra life for Holland - all 4 teams with a theoretical chance of progression.

Team	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
Germany	2	2	0	0	3	1	+2	6
Portugal	2	1	0	1	3	3	0	3
Denmark	2	1	0	1	3	3	0	3
Netherlands	2	0	0	2	1	3	−2	0

It's the Germans who occupy (poor choice of verb) top spot, and they're a certainty to quaify. To accompany them: - I have to stand by my tip, Holland...

BC
@BobbyCowsill