Given that the World Cup
tournament held in South Africa was a masterclass in listless football, played
out under the monotonous drone of brainless vuvuzela blowing, the current
tournament in Brazil could be considered an unmitigated success (bar the numerous
deaths to workers during construction of the stadia and of course the political
and economic fall out of FIFA's mobile tax haven). There have been goals and
talking points aplenty, numerous shock results and even the most uninspiring of
fixtures have produced a spectacle e.g. South Korea 2 Algeria 4. A+.
But despite all this
positivity there is a black cloud hanging over proceedings, born of
eye-watering levels of stupidity. What's even more bewildering is this isn't
the first time this disgusting act has been on show publically!
You will all know
what I'm referring to. The picture doubtless gives it away!
Yes, the [hateful] Mexican Wave!
 |
| (above: the world's living brain transplant donors) |
People are paying divorce
inciting amounts of money to fly to the other-side of the world and watch the
planet's best players in action, only to get hideously bored two minutes in and
attempt to entertain themselves by standing up and flinging their arms in the
air. How can a grown human being find such an activity anything other than an
irritating distraction from the on-field affairs!? How utterly moronic do you
have to be to find standing up and sitting down at the same time as a cluster
of other total air-heads either amusing or entertaining!?
The Mexican Wave is the
international symbol for boredom and possibly the biggest insult to the action
unfolding in front of you. This natural tie to tedium is illustrated by the
occasions in which the monstrosity can be routinely found: rain delay at
Wimbledon, men's Olympic beach volleyball, anything involving Ed Milliband etc.
Why then given the productivity and controversy played out during the World Cup
thus far, and the colossal cost of attending the tournament, is the metachronal
rhythm of the wave scarring my retina?
It is a stain on the
otherwise excellent World Cup - admittedly progress from the vuvuzela - and
disrespectful to the endeavors of the players. FIFA outlawed the vuvuzela and
should take similar action against the neanderthals who persist with the
Mexican Wave. In my opinion participation by anyone over 6 years of age should
result in immediate expulsion from the terraces followed by removal of any
rights to procreate - it is what Darwin would have wanted.
Let's make the wave
history! (£1 rubber wristbands available at literally no good retailers)
No comments:
Post a Comment