If Men are from Mars, Football Clubs are from... OGLE-2005-BLG-390Lb

The circus that is the football transfer window finally came to end in early September following an excruciatingly protracted summer of speculation; much of which surrounded the move to Real Madrid of the former face of PG Tips, Gareth Bale.

   

(Above: Gareth Bale in one of his 
more conservative outfits...)

The window creates this fervour amongst fans, many of whom will have stayed up all night, pint in hand, drinking to the well known catchphrases and familiar characteristics of the evening's broadcast... 2 sips if Harry Redknapp is seen talking through his car window, 3 sips for every completed deal, 4 sips if Odemwingie gets locked out of a rival club's premises... each drink proportionate to the likelihood of the respective event... 15 lagers with triple whisky chasers if Joe Kinnear opens his cheque book; et cetera, et cetera. 

Come 23.01hrs on deadline-day evening, some are jubilant, many are tipsy, but most are either underwhelmed or frustrated by their respective club's business. However, even for those with revamped enthusiasm, perhaps your side bagged a Nigel Quashie, is there really any reason to get so excited? Doesn’t the deadline day fiasco just detract from the essence of the sport?

(.. less conservative. Enough
to make Liborace blush!)

Elite level football has become increasingly detached from its roots as commercial interests have taken hold, and the latest suave looking import from the New World, purchased on the final day to save face, may only serve to strengthen this issue. He will wear the precious jersey, kiss the sacred badge, represent the proud inhabitants of a town he's never even heard of, before invariably holding the club to ransom over his desire for an obscene wage increase (ahem, Mr Benteke). In addition, he'd rather spend a romantic evening with Alan Partridge than sign your overpriced piece of memorabilia; despite the fact you've sung his name all evening and then waited in a horizontal downpour for what seems like a fortnight.

And it's not just the players that have arrived on our saturated shores from far flung parts of the globe. The ownership of the Football League's 92 clubs comprises significant shareholdings for individuals originating from over 20 countries, and circa 30% of the clubs are under foreign control; including last season's top 4 in the Premier League. 

It might be the most insultingly obvious statement since Andy Townsend last opened his mouth, but the massive purchasing power and the overall investment that these owners have brought to the league hasn't been born out of the goodness of their hearts; and neither would you expect it to be (especially given the shady backgrounds of a number of the "fit and proper" owners). In the case of Roman Abramovich and Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan, they may have sunk vast sums into Chelsea and Manchester City respectively, but in doing so they have thrust their name, and/or their brand, into the global spotlight that the Premiership creates. Football crosses language, cultural and religious boundaries, making it very easy to sell globally and making it a very attractive platform for marketing. Business Sense Magazine points out that though Roman Abramovich may have seen no financial rewards directly from his purchase of Chelsea, “he now has the eyes and ears of the European business world”.  

For others, including Manchester United majority stakeholder Malcolm Glazer, the appeal is more traditional; it's all about the money (and presumably... "it's all about the dum dum duh dee dum dum")... a Premier League domestic broadcasting deal worth £3.018bn over 3 years was signed in 2012, corporate partnerships continue to spiral virtuously, and there's a further £1.13bn distributed amongst those participating in UEFA's club tournaments... more than enough to catch the eye of a savvy investor.

You will note however that these astronomical sums are heavily skewed towards those at the pinnacle of the sport, creating a desire amongst stakeholders for a 'quick fix'. With no natural allegiance to football as a whole, yet alone any sense of belonging to the history, culture and geography of their newly acquired asset, is it any wonder that local/domestic based managers, players and even fans, are so dispensable? 

Manchester City is a prime case study of the evolution in football and the subsequent effect upon the incumbent followers. Having signed an agreement with Manchester City Council in 1998, 'The Citizens' moved from their scruffy but nostalgic Maine Road

(Above: Maine Road in its heyday)

home to the City of Manchester Stadium in 2003. As you would expect, this new stadium is a vastly superior facility, allowing for a greater capacity and increased corporate facilities, but at the expense of the romance of the old ground. As celebrity fan, and full-time sideburns cultivator Noel Gallagher said during an interview with Sky this year, "I miss the look of fear on opposing fans' faces when they've got to trail through Moss Side!".

In addition to the geographical move, the aforementioned takeover of the club by the U.A.E ruling family in 2008, following Thaksin Shinawatra short tenure, has produced a turnover at board level that has been reflected in the fluidity of the playing and backroom staff. Significant foreign appointments are now rife throughout the structure of the club; notably, Director of Football (Aitor Begiristain), Manager (Manuel Luis Pellegrini), Captain (Vincent Kompany) and headline signings (David Silva, Yaya Toure, Edin Dzeko et al). 

The combination of all the above factors leaves Manchester City virtually unrecognisable from the club that the long-term fans affiliate themselves with; what have they got left to support? Granted, unseen elements remain the same, but what's on show publicly differs hugely from the entity they grew up with. City are the footballing equivalent of Joan Rivers!

With the above model replicated to differing degrees throughout England’s football league, it is perhaps no surprise that a number of the traditional match going fans feel distanced, alienated, and exploited.

Sadly, though the old fashioned terrace going fans still consider themselves the spirit of their respective club, their value is diminishing. The disconnection of the game from its domestic working class roots has been a contributory factor in the increase in wider interest. With finances key, the sport has willingly drifted away from the traditional supporters and values, and in doing so distanced itself from the stereotypes that blighted football for a number of years. The new multi-racial, multi-cultural, and multi-economic background of followers, as targeted by clubs, unlocks huge marketing opportunities. This encourages Sky Sports and other broadcasting revenues, which, accompanied by the numerous corporate partnerships, generate much of a club's turnover now. The result... the "armchair" fan is king. A study by C.P. Barros and S. Leach (2006) stated that “an uneven playing field exists...  in which the market leaders, in terms of turnover, appear to be virtually guaranteed of sporting success”. 

(For those of you unfamiliar
with the lavish attire of the Virgo)

In the end though, the habitual and social appeals of the game will retain even the most disillusioned of fans; after all why else would I have cobbled together this piece, and why would you be wasting precious Strictly Come Dancing time reading it? Football has become the 24 hour, 7 day a week, soap opera that is totally inescapable! It's as dramatic as a Hollyoaks Christmas Special, as addictive as any of Pete Doherty’s hobbies, and as glamorous as the shiniest of John Virgo's waistcoats. As a result, we’ll continue to be messed around by fixture changes, deprived of our hard earned cash by faceless owners, and slowly relieved of our sense of belonging by the dilution of the club’s culture... but remain completely incapable of stepping away. Meanwhile the next emerging market will titillate those calling the shots, and football, through the medium of exorbitant wealth, will find an even more distant metaphorical planet to inhabit. 

- Has your club has lost its character and alienated its die hard support?

- Do you feel more should be done to protect the culture of your club?

Alternatively, 

- Do you embrace the overseas superstar and the entertainment they bring?

- Is English football better for embracing change and evolving to fit modern society?

Please leave some feedback and let me know what attachment you have to your club... AND whether the bond can ever be broken.

BC

Twitter: - https://twitter.com/BobbyCowsill

Facebook: - https://www.facebook.com/groups/262906063816351/

RVP - "should I stay, or should I go now"

(Mock applause for Arsenal's transfer policy)

The football world is once again transfixed by the latest instalment of “Arsenal and the Adventures of the Prudent Accounting Model”. Having allowed the inevitable transfers of Messrs Nasri and Fabregas to rumble on and on (and Ariston) during the summer of 2011, it appears that Wenger and his cost-conscious colleagues have also allowed the Van Persie situation to evolve into something of a saga.

RVP, having first robbed poor Rendezvous Point of his acronym, then proceeded to concrete his reputation for mischief by announcing to the world that he had no intention of renewing his contract with The Arsenal... saying instead, “[it has] become clear to me that we, in many aspects, disagree on the way Arsenal FC should move forward”.

With their star striker’s contract due to expire in the summer of 2013, Arsenal are now, somewhat fittingly, starring down the barrel. Do they retain their prized asset at the detriment of their finances, or off-load him and risk a supporter’s backlash.

You may recall that during Arsenal’s pre-season tour of 2011, Wenger announced to the global media with some aplomb, that, “we want to keep Cesc and I will fight as hard as I can to keep him. Samir Nasri is exactly the same. We will do everything we can to keep him. I'm confident we can get both of them to stay”. The motivation behind such a bold statement was obviously two-fold; retain the services of his star men OR portray the clubs strong stance in order to drive the highest price.

The statement however served to disrupt Nasri and Fabregas further and their subsequent dissent weakened Arsenal’s stance...  Fabregas eventually completed his much anticipated move to long ball merchants Barcelona on the eve of the new season (15 August 2011); whilst Nasri’s move was finally completed just days before the deadline. Wenger, like a scorned teenager, proclaiming on Nasri’s departure that “he [Nasri] still loved the club” but moved solely for money... presumably followed by “I didn’t like him anyway”.

Both Fabregas and Nasri then, despite Arsenal’s vocal claims, eventually engineered their respective moves away. It’s worth noting that Arsenal were so unsettled during this period of protracted negotiations that they failed to win any of their August Premiership  games - the headline grabber an 8-1 capitulation at the hands of Manchester United.

With similarities developing between 2011 and 2012, it may well be that Van Persie is also confident that his desired move will materialize. If so, perhaps this explains why the possible transfer to once bitter rivals Manchester United has become so public, and also why RVP cut such a subdued figure on his return to Arsenal's Cologne training camp.

Sir Alex Ferguson, manager of the small remaining English franchise of Manchester United Inc., stated this week, with regards to his ongoing pursuit of RVP,- that, “It’s difficult to say why they [Arsenal] are operating in this way” - a sentiment I think a number of analysts share. Clearly it’s understandable why Arsene Wenger (once arch enemy of Sir Alex, now pitied by him) is reluctant to sell to a traditional foe like United or to 'parent club' City; but to run the risk of a fiasco like 2011 seems suicidal... especially when you review the panic purchases Wenger made on the approach to deadline day: -

(Lonesome George - RIP)

·         Per Mertesaker - The man who moves slower than Lonesome George, tectonic plates, and even some Australian athletes.

·         Yossi Benayoun -  The lank haired, lank limbed former Liverpool and Chelsea substitute.

·         Andre Santos - who!? Part-time full back, part-time nomad.

·         Park-Chu Young – went on to play 1 game for Arsenal in 2011/2012

·         Mikel Arteta – a good player, but prehaps a poor man’s Fabregas.

With the above in mind, it must surely be concluded that Arsenal actually intend to let RVP run down his contract and exit in 2013 (either that or Stoke fans are right, Arsene is “cracking up”)... an exercise that would sanctify the contract and perhaps serve as a lesson to all (ahem, Modric).

It will be interesting to see how events unfold, and how far RVP is willing to go to force a move... Afterall, he has endured his former teammates lifting Premiership & La Liga trophies since their departure – yet Arsenal haven’t achieved anything but a respectable balance sheet since 2005.

Do you believe RVP will still be an Arsenal player come 1 September 2012?

If not, where will RVP be registered?

BC

@BobbyCowsill

FB Group - 'If that had gone in it would have been a goal'

THE ROUND UP (12 July 2012)

I must begin by offering my insincere apologies for the lack of topical football based literature released on this blog over the past fortnight. The excuse being that I have been indulging in my other great passion (no, no!); music! The concoction of having to splurge a briefcase full of cash on grossly overpriced drinks, stand on tip-toes until my calf muscles spontaneously combust, and having to snorkel through the mud/overflowing sewage cocktail, takes some time to oust from the system. For those of you who are interested, or feigning interest (the group in which the Portuguese national football side provide their life lessons), my latest escapade took me to the undisputed home of music to scream along with seminal indie outfit The Stone Roses.     

(hoggers!)

During the aforementioned realisation of my dream, Spain were busy realising their own; namely lifting the The Henri Delaunay Trophy aloft for the second consecutive time. The one sided final eventually culminating in a 4-0 defeat for the scandal tarnished Italians... for the record, there were no peculiar own goals, no sliced penalty kicks, and no suspicious sending off’s (in minutes ending in ‘6’ or otherwise) as was envisaged in my “Group C” blog of June 17.

    

What was foreseen however was much of the reminder of the tournament - the Spanish victory itself; England captivating their audience for the obligatory 2 out of the 4 weeks; the Dutch implosion; Balotelli’s numerous childlike tantrums; the French bowing out ungracefully; the UEFA endorsed camera-persons (probably men) filming virile female fans rather than the football; and sadly, the unsavoury scenes off the pitch. Europe, in hindsight, could have saved itself a great deal of fortune, and the majority of us, avoided much heartache. Still, it did give us Europeans something to focus on other than finances; and on a personal level, I didn’t have to watch the insufferable ‘deal or no deal’ for an entire month.

The ease at which Spain brushed aside Italy and once again proved to be Europe’s premier football team was breathtaking. Their unparalleled pool of talent perhaps most evident when you scrutinized the absentees from their European Championship final starting XI – most notably, Chelski duo Juan Mata and Fernando Torres; Athletic’s Manchester United tormentors, Fernando Llorente, Iker Muniain and Javi Martinez; and Barcelona’s injured twosome of Carles Puyol and David Villa.

This further triumph by Spain, begs the question, “are they the best national team ever?”. As exponents of pass and move (tiki-taka) football they are surely unrivalled, but defensively, and in terms of cutting edge, they have occasionally been questioned. Consider then the following entities as possible alternatives: -

• World Cup 1970 winning Brazil – Pele, Carlos Alberto, Jairzinho, Tostao, Gerson, & Rivelino; need I say more! (see below)

• Rinus Michels ‘Totaalvoetball’ Netherlands team of 1974  - despite losing the World Cup final to rivals Deutschland; Cruyff, Haan, Rep, van Hanegam & co, changed the landscape of football forever (Spain are mere copy-cats).

(Great football team, but most importantly; a quite fabulous kit)

• France 1998 to 2000 – blessed with talent such as Zizou, Terry Henry, and the eternal Thuram; and benefactors of Monsieur Barthez's lucky slaphead; the French were bound to capture the World Cup in ’98 and the European Championships of ’00.

• Berti Vogts’ Scotland of 2002 – 2004. Herr Vogts’ Scotland began with a solid 5 nil defeat at the hands of France, and went on to achieve numerous other credible results; the most memorable were as follows: - South Korea (1  – 4), Faroe Islands (2 – 2), Holland (0 -6), Wales (0 -4), Hungary (0 – 3), Moldova (1 – 1), and home defeat to Norway.

(Andy Selva - scorer of THE winning
San Marino goal - canonized in '02)

• That special San Marino side of 28 April 2004 that scored a genuine, real-life, actual, valid, undeniable, goal against Liechtenstein... and went onto claim their only ever victory!

• 11 April 2001 ‘Socceroos’ – this VB/XXXX powered Aussie outfit pipped American Somoa 31 – 0 during 2002 FIFA World Cup Qualification.

TRANSFER PORTION

As well as evidencing the quality of certain national teams, Euro 2012 also drew the eyes of the world onto certain talented players – most the everyday fan were aware of beforehand, but a few rose to prominence during the tournament. The same principle must have applied to those loitering characters that operate in the shadows, only occasionally surfacing to tell their gaffer that they’ve spied some bona fide talent (that the You Tube generation identified a decade previous); scouts!

Following the various scouts reports to hierarchy, a number of transfers have ensued. Former ‘Super’ (I understand he was relinquished of this title by Balotelli’s 2^nd against Germany) Mario Mandzukic’s transfer to FC Bayern in a deal worth circa £8 million, the highlight of the post Euro ‘scramblies’ so far.

Fellow Croatian Modric also looks likely to move following a sound Euro 2012; having caught the eye of Real Madrid’s scouts. Modric is expected to announce his intention to swap the sodden city of London, for the ever so slightly brighter Madrid, to new boss AVB within the next few days. This transfer will bring estranged partners Mr Mourinho and his protégée AVB back into contact - for the sake of the kids I hope the transfer doesn’t push them further apart. On the field, Luka Modric will add further invention to Real’s already crafty midfield of Alonso, Kaka, Ozil and Granero.

(Look-a-likes - Mourinho (left) & AVB (right))

Mr Mourinho’s philosophy of flooding the side with creative players, then playing defense first football, seems to be shared by Mr Di Matteo at Chelsea. Having wrapped up the signatures of Marin and Hazard, to add to the serving Mata and Lampard, Chelsea have now seen numerous bids for like minded players rejected – the latest flirtation being with another young German, Andre Schurrle. Looking at recent history, the fee, though undisclosed, is likely to be in the region of £400bn + costs.

Meanwhile, Manchester United have been busy distancing themselves from the cynical accusations that Kagawa’s signing is merely as the token merchandise salesmen for the ever growing Asian market; by immediately going ahead with the sale of their other Asian asset, floppy haired, work-aholic, Park Ji-Sung. The South Korean legend joins Mark Hughes’ tepid revolution at Queens Park Rangers.

And finally, the worryingly gangly midfield shooting ace Sigurdsson, has made his loan move to Swansea permanent... wait, sorry, he nearly did; but he’s actually decided to follow his previous boss Brendan Rogers to the home of the Beatles and car robbery; Liverpool. Oh, I’m hearing he hasn’t done that either... it’ll be Tottenham Hotspur for Sigurdsson next season! Unless a newer, more fashionable, model comes along before August 31...  

BC

@BobbyCowsill

FB GROUP - 'if that had gone in it would have been a goal'

THE ROUND UP (20 June 12)

The last week or so has been packed with news from the ever evolving world of football, and here’s your bite-size reminder: -

Euro 2012

(courtesy of  dearfabio.wordpress.com)

The Euro Group Stages have already concluded, and we’re now only a week or so from going football ‘cold-turkey’. Thankfully, the proverbial Nicorette patch being the increasingly sporadic helping of knock-out football... and believe it or not England are participating! 

The 3 Lions topping Group D, thanks to France's final game capitulation, and the utterly worthless extra officials: they have 1 job to do, and yet, time after time they miss crucial moments; anyone else would be 'relieved of their position'! (civil servants aside). Note however, that Sepp 'even' Blatter 'than ever', has now declared Goal Line Technology a "necessity" - where were those comments after England vs. Germany!? 

Anyway rant over... England's group victory means they have avoided Spain, and instead will play a juicy tie against 1968 Winners Italy. Thankfully, reports from Italy suggest that much of this 1968 side will be unavailable Sunday night; surely giving England a 'fighter's chance' of progressing... and subsequently meeting with Germany in the semi-finals (fortunately England's record against the Germans at this stage in major tournaments is enviable). However, a word of warning, lets try not to get hysterical now that ENGLAND ARE GOING TO WIN!!!

Unfortunately for our friends over the Irish Sea, and also for publicans in Eastern Europe, Trapattoni’s men will not be joining us in the knock-outs; having been unceremoniously dumped out without troubling the scorers. Shrinking violet, Roy Keane, expressing his displeasure by proclaiming, "I'm sick of this 'win, lose, we're on the booze' mentality"; and Keith Andrews expressing his frustration by aiming a kick at the team's drink-bottles following his red card... needless to say, he missed.

(Pair of Benders: Lars & twin Sven)

The Kinks said, “Give the people what they want”, and who’s going to argue with musical aristocracy!? Therefore, I have succumbed to the clamour of the public, and propose to follow the versatile German player Lars Bender for the remainder of his tournament... or until he scores the winning penalty against England (though I'm aware this may generate attempts to revive the article by the Scots; Bender now akin to; Wallace, Burns, the Bruce, Boyle and Maradona). 

I digress; this new segment shall be entitled; ‘Bender Watch’. disclaimer: - my childish ramblings are not meant to cause any offence (unless they are), and I in no way harbour homophobic or any other prejudicial views... and nor should you!)

Wait, just climbing down from my moral steed...

Okay. I am delighted to announce that this fresh segment got off to a banging start on Sunday evening; Lars sneaking in round the back of the Danish defence, and caressing the ball past Stephan Andersen... His first International goal, and an important one, securing Germany’s group win, and sending the plucky Danes crashing out. No wonder Bender fell to the floor wrapped in the arms of his teammates.   

As well as the Danes and the Irish, other notable absentees from the latter rounds include the following: -

·         Russia – The team I predicted would waltz Group A, eventually throwing it all away with a lacklustre defeat at the hands of the Greeks

·         Co-hosts Poland – who just couldn’t translate their fantastic support into points.

·         Holland – tipped by me as potential winners, the Dutch go home with nil pois, having been; listless, disorganised, and (just for a change) disharmonious.

·        Zlatan Ibrahimovic

·         Croatia – Came up just short in a tough group. A case of what might have been, had Rakitic just nodded home Modric's cross against Spain.

 For completeness, the less distinguished departures being; Ukraine... oh, and Ibrahimovic’s colleagues. 

Irrelevant news

Perhaps the most surprising knock-out this week however, came at Allerton Castle, where new bride Rebecca Guthrie, WAG of ex-Newcastle and Bolton man Danny, was given the proverbial 10 count.

(Allerton Castle: Wedding & WWE Venue)

I’m not sure what the unwritten rules of conduct and etiquette are for a wedding guest, but I can say with a degree of certainty that giving the bride a knuckle-sandwich is a no-no.

According to The Daily Mail, ‘Shocked staff said the event reminded them of a Big Fat Gypsy Wedding as lobster thermidor was hurled around, later followed by punches, kicks and slaps’.

You can take the boy out of Liverpool...

The Rivalry Returns

Another headline grabber this week, was the return of the Scotland versus England fixture. Traditionally an annual event, until abolition in 1989, it is the oldest international fixture in association football - the first meeting a nil nil thriller played out at Hamilton Crescent in 1872.

 Since Danny Dyer and his 'nawty' comrades put pay to the spectacle, there have been only a handful of meetings between the ‘Auld Enemy’; the most notable during Euro 1996. The game going down in English folk law for THAT goal; one player partial to a drop (Gazza), lifts the ball over another partial to a dram (Hendry), before volleying the ball past self confessed serial drinker, Andy Goram – how fitting that celebration was (see right).

The last meeting was the Euro 2000 playoff at Wembley, and I’ll be lynched if I don’t point out that Don Hutchinson headed the winner - England ultimately progressed 2 – 1 on aggregate though.

With all this history in mind, the latest instalment is sure to be a wonderful occasion; make a note in your diary! It’s been scheduled for 14 August 2013 at Wembley, so there’s plenty of time for the Scots to stock up on ‘see-you-jimmy’ hats, and for their opposition to put some imitation ‘Knights Templar’ outfits together.

 Transfer News

 Joe Jordan’s sparring partner, Rino Gattuso, has decided to take his football/cage-fighting hybrid to Switzerland; having signed on the dotted line at FC Sion. He had previously been linked with a return to Glasgow Rangers, and had publically expressed his interest in making this move. Unfortunately for Rino the deal hit a slight snag... namely the fact the club is no longer in existence. (More on Rangers plight to follow...)

Surprising news from Arsenal, as they look to have wrapped up the signing of a French player! 25 year old Montpellier striker, Olivier Giroud, scored 25 goals in Ligue 1 last term, and Arsene Wenger will be hoping he can continue this trend and score 26 next... 25 more than Chamakh.

The much sought after Argentine, Lavezzi, completed a big money move to Paris Saint-Germain from Napoli this week. I would expect a barrage of complaints from Mr Platini on the back of PSG's spending... It's ruining football isn't it Michel? 

Elsewhere, Chelski had a £4 million bid rejected for Moses; it's thought they'll now turn to Noah. 

BC

Twitter: @BobbyCowsill
Facebook Group: 'If that had gone in, it would have been a goal'

**Please provide feedback and share, ta.

TRANSFER EXCLUSIVE ! (probably)

(Note the void behind his eyes, evidence of the completed medical)

I’m proud to announce, to both my readers, that despite lacking the resources of every competing football column, I have, what I am convinced will be, an exclusive story! It concerns a youthful Belgian piper, of the pied variety, who has spent the last months leading the proverbial rats round the Mountains of Twitter. Well, I can confirm that he has led us all to the river and over to The Bridge, in a deal worth £34 million in transfer fees and circa £398,218,176,927,128.35 per week in net wages. After tweeting first “Good afternoon, I made up my mind. See you later. Thanks”, he then followed up with the equally articulate, “I’m signing for the Champion’s League Winner”, before arriving at the Chelski medical centre for the customary drop and cough test.

The signing will be treated as something of a coup d'état by господин Abramovich and the Chelski faithful; especially following Hazard’s prior indications that he was to choose between the 2 dominant Premier League forces of United and City. In contrast, it’s a bitter blow to the aforementioned blue and prawn sandwich sides of Manchester, that Chelski have been able to usurp them for Europe’s hottest property since the jam in Pop Tarts, solely on the back of a Champions League win.

Hazard produced goals and assists in abundance (20 goals, 16 assists) for LOSC Lille Metropole last term, and the belief is that the inventive forward will have no trouble reproducing this form over The Channel; in the vein of Yohan Cabaye for Les Geordies. The intriguing thing however will be how his talents are accommodated by Abramovich’s puppet manager come Community Shield day; especially given that Hazard himself had previously outlined that any move would be dependant on ‘the project’ and guarantee of first team football.  

(Above: 'El Nino' following
Di Matteo's announcement of CL
Final starting XI)

As a sub plot, the transfer casts a shadow over a number of players, not least adopted German, Marko Marin, who agreed to join Chelski from SV Werder Bremen in late April 2012; prior to any Hazard contact. This is compounded by reports of Hulk’s imminent arrival, and the probable influx of various other members of the Avengers (Dempsey as Captain America?). With so many attacking options; taking into account Mata, Torres (seen right), Malouda, and Ramires, the only way to avoid mutiny may be to adopt the textbook 1-7-2 formation, presumably with Sony Playstation player, and 'Side-Show Bob' look-a-like, David Luiz as the sole presence at the back. But will even this brand of gung-ho football appease oligarch Abramovich? Or will the battle to retain harmony in a much evolving dressing room, of which Hazard is the new centre piece, cause Chelsea to fall short again?

BC

@BobbyCowsill

A few further points to ponder and remark on: -
·         Will Hazard be a success?
·         Are there really more 1^st XI opportunities at Chelski? or is he another mercenary?
·         Can the squad gel fast enough to bring Chelski back into Premiership contention?
·         Will the wage cheques prevent players becoming unsettled?

THE LAUNCH!

The launch.. being widely heralded as 'exciting' 'significant' 'tolerable' 'extraneous'.

(the player and the blog both..?)

It may seem like mismanagement on my behalf that I begin my journey into blogging the beautiful game at the only time of year when there’s no football being played, and I note your bewilderment, but declare, with absolutely no element of conceitedness, “au contraire my friend”... For if you delve into the psyche of the addicted fan (for which you probably are one yourself), now more than at any other stage during the year you are desperate for an outlet (hence I can sneak any old drivel under the Blogosphere*)... We’ve all but forgotten the glories and the disappointments that our club side provided us with last year, and we now crave more of that football based emotion; that escapism, that helplessness, and that almost inevitable gut wrenching disappointment. I know you’re thinking Euro 2012 is on the horizon, but this serves only to fuel our itching for the real season to begin. Let’s be frank here, who’s honestly thinking that listless performances from an England side packed with players we berate from the terraces the rest of the year; or meteoric clashes between heavyweights like Poland and Greece; are really going to make them laugh or cry? Euro 2012 is the equivalent of striking up a summer fling only days after your true love abandoned you. Yes it has the potential to be interesting, even fun, and it will patch up some of the hurt, but it’s just not going to fill that void. We’ll spend time with England over the next few weeks but only whilst comparing their fitness, performance, and relative ball skills against our missing partner...

With this in mind, I shall, like numerous others, divide my summer between masquerading as an England fan, and scouting for my beloved club - desperately hoping to unearth the next Karel ‘I even look like I have XX chromosomes’ Poborsky (to be fair: - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pimwFJYG1E8). This mission to match such scouting prowess will be one of a number of topics I hope to cover in my blog over the coming months... I already have a hunch Stewart ‘surely I got an assist this domestic season’ Downing could light up the tournament. In addition, I hope to bring you comment on player transfers, injuries and jail terms. Should the unthinkable happen and England reaches the latter stages I will even depict my journey on the band wagon (see *).

Anyway, as I have been so disparaging of a nation I am such a proud member of, I must conclude with a positive message to our crusaders in Eastern Europe... at least you’re not Italian!

 BC
@BobbyCowsill

 **I hope I’ve managed to occupy your neglected football lobe for almost 5 minutes there! (and another 5 once you’ve fashioned a witty, abusive response)...  Please comment and pass this around. Thanks