GROUP C - Croatia/Italy/Rep of Ireland/Spain

These snap shots of the various Euro groups are written, in part, as a reminder to those of us who have consumed one too many ‘soft drinks’ in the interval between the early and late kick offs. I think perhaps it’s fitting (stereotyping) then, that we save the Republic of Ireland’s group until last.

The Irish allegedly have the best fans at the tournament this year, but sadly I’ve not heard any allegations of them having the best team. In their 2 outings, they have conceded 7 goals and managed only 1 in return; making them not only the leakiest defence, but also the co-most impotent attack at the Euros. These stats do paint a picture, and unfortunately that picture doesn’t lie; but you have to bear in mind the calibre of their opposition.

The Irish opened their campaign in Poznan (named after a Manchester City goal celebration), against a Slaven Bilic prepared Croatian team; complete with Premiership stars Luka Modric, and Nikica Jelavic.

And they fell behind early; very early! I believe it was about 1659 hrs BST; presumably the 7^th official in the crowd had blown for kick off early. ‘Super Mario III’ (following Balotelli and Gomez) Mandzukic heading the first of a fine pair.

Sandwiched between these strikes, Sean St. Ledger headed Ireland’s only goal of the tournament so far; the defence appearing to hesitate as the 7^th official in the crowd, again, helpfully blasted his/her whistle. 

Everton’s January purchase from ostentatious Rangers, Nikica Jelavic, restored the Croatian’s lead on the brink of half time, poking the ball past the on-rushing Shay Given.

 There was only ever going to be one winner from here, and Mandzukic’s 2^ndearly in the second half, was tangible proof; the ball ricocheting off the post and the goalkeeper before nestling in the Irish net. Shay Given’s reaction to the whole affair (shown right) summed it up; the chalk on his face as he took to his feet, presumably masking the egg. 

Earlier in the evening, European Champions, World Champions, and likely Intergalactic Champions, Spain, took their brand of ticky-tacky football to Gdansk to meet the always formidable, Italians. Despite their off pitch crises, the Italians must not be written off, especially given their World Cup success in 2006 on the back of a similar scandal. And it was the Italians that initially led against the striker-less Spaniards; Di Natale, on for (too many jokes) Balotelli, latching onto a deft pass and cleverly lifting the ball beyond Casillas.

 The lead was short lived though, lasting a mere 3 minutes, before ‘false 9’ (because he’s wearing #10), Cesc Fabregas, ran onto David Silva’s masterful through ball, and slid the ball past Buffon.

Spain did have their chances to snatch the points, but lacked any purpose in the final 3^rd. Vicente Del Bosque identified this issue and introduced Fernando Torres as a replacement for Cesc Fabrgeas. The former striker did add some extra dynamism, and amusement, spurning a hat-trick of golden opportunities. 1 each it remained then - points shared.

The Italians next opponents were the Irish heartbreakers from game 2, Croatia. Billed as a potentially tight affair, it proved to be exactly that. In fact, the game’s opening goal coming from the perpetual Andrea Pirlo, as he voided the capabilities of the Croatian defence by flighting a fabulous free kick past Pletikosa.

Croatia were more adventurous in the second half, switching their formation in an attempt to free up the virtually absent Modric. This modification did have a modicum of success; but soon the Italians were creating again, Balotelli passing up an excellent opportunity to put the game to bed.

With the all too familiar scoreline of one nil to Italy looming, and the Azzurri sitting behind the ball, it was something of a surprise when Croatia levelled proceedings. Having hardly put a foot wrong at the back, Chiellini misjudged a speculative cross from the left and Mario Mandzukic slid in to score his 3^rd of the tournament.

Howard Webb called the event to a close after the customary 90 minutes, no Fergie time required.
1 – 1 the final score.

 For Ireland's second game, the mass ranks of support headed for Gdansk in the hope of good craic and 3 points. Regrettably for the emerald army though, they left with nothing more than dented pride, following a football lesson from the best in the business.

Ireland, to their credit, did manage to hold out for a full 4 minutes; Fernando Torres eventually breaking his international duck against the same goalkeeper he ended his 6 month Premiership barren spell in March.

Despite a number of chances, even a rare opening for Keith Andrews, the first half concluded with the Spaniards only a goal in front.

Alas the second half was an all together more galling spectacle. First, Manchester City’s David Silva snaffling up the rebound from Andres Iniesta’s initial shot to double the advantage; before Torres and Fabregas rounded off the torrid night.

4 nil the final score, and the old adage, ‘they were lucky to get none’, never truer. Irish captain Robbie Keane admitting, "For the majority of the game we were chasing shadows".

Team	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
Spain	2	1	1	0	5	1	+4	4
Croatia	2	1	1	0	4	2	+2	4
Italy	2	0	2	0	2	2	0	2
Republic of Ireland	2	0	0	2	1	7	−6	0

 The group has been well contested, but the stand-out performers have been the reigning champions. It’s their form that will likely see Croatia exit and the Italians progress. I understand many are backing Italy not just for qualification from the group, but also to progress into the latter stages, and even reach the final... before an unusual own goal, four sendings off (all in minutes ending in 6), and a sliced penalty deny them.

The Republic of Ireland fans are already preparing their return journey; however given that they have reported Poland is, “full of beautiful women, superb (and strong) beer and vodka, delicious food and excellent hotels (even with a TV in the toilet!)” (http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/news/lord-gdansk-irish-solace-polish-133517801.html), it may take them a while to disperse. Any volunteers to aid them?

BC
@BobbyCowsill

GROUP B - 'The Group of Death'

Group B - 'The Group of Death' (we should have one at every tournament...)


(De Jong, World Cup 2010 -
arguably the most fearsome
tackle since Dion Dublin)

Day 2 of the Euros 2012, saw my tip for the tournament (you may have identified a theme), Die Oranje, come up against Qualifying Group H winners (a group that contained Portugal), Denmark. Goal machine Huntelaar was unceremoniously dropped to the bench by Holland manager Bert van Marwijk, in favour of Van Persie as the lone striker; with two defensive midfielders playing in front of the back four - softies, Nigel ‘Karate Kid’ De Jong (see right) and Van Bommel. Denmark on the other hand opted for their 10 most tattooed individuals and veteran Dennis Rommedahl (I read a book once that said he played for Charlton Athletic when God was still in shorts – maybe Ryan Giggs can confirm this).

The Dutch, for all their possession, didn’t create a huge number of chances but those they did were wasted. Van Persie’s legs, like Samaras’ and Kerzhakov’s before him, turning to jelly under the weight of expectation, resulting in a number of gilt-edged chances going begging. Whilst fellow superstar, and Bayern Munich’s man of the moment, Arjen Robben, shot harmlessly over/wide when he should have been passing, and passed the ball wastefully when he really should have pulled the trigger.

Denmark played to their strengths and hit the Netherlands on the break using Rommedahl and Krohn-Deli; the latter providing the incisive moment, as he dropped a shoulder, ghosted past Heitinga, and smashed the ball under Stekelenburg in the Dutch goal.

Huntelaar and then Van Der Vaart were introduced late on, but both failed to make the telling contributions required. The buck toothed Huntelaar spurning the best opportunity; latching onto the pass of the century from Sneijder before placing the ball into the midriff of Danish keeper Andersen.

Following this result, we were politely reminded that the Dutch lost their opening fixture in the 1988 Euros... They didn’t have the German’s in their group on that occasion however.

 Tournament specialists, and historic chums of Blighty, Deutschland, have brought another formidable squad to the Euros; containing promising young stars such as Gotze, Reus, and Kroos; as well as the familiar names of Ozil, Neuer, and Gomez. Their first opponents, 2004 losing finalists Portugal, would set up defensively in the hope to absorb pressure and counter through the meek and mild Ronaldo, and Michael Jackson’s illegitimate son, Nani (see left).

However, Announcer: “Mario!”, crowd: GOMEZ! headed the decisive goal in the 72nd minute; looping a wonderful header past Rui Patricio, following a deflected cross from the right. Frankly, the game had been most disappointing until this point, but the goal served to spark it into life. Portugal began to look more threatening and the game in general became stretched... 

Then, in the dying seconds, the moment of the game, and another contender for moment of the tournament; certainly for those at my local drinking establishment that I have the pleasure to call associates. Beanpole, Thomas Muller departed, and on jogged the replacement, to chants of “BENDER!” (preceded by the barely audible announcement of “Lars”). How the intelligent, mature, British public laughed (and tweeted (it was ‘trending’ within minutes)).

Afterwards some men ran round a bit, and a spherical object flew about a bit; then the final whistle went – and we were still laughing.


 June 13^th proved to be unlucky for those who back Denmark and the Netherlands; both sides left teetering on the edge of exit following defeats.

The Netherlands vs. Germany was the eye catching tie of the group stages as a whole, two hugely talented sides, steeped in history and rivalry; however, in truth, the game was rather one sided. The Dutch for all their possession created very little, whilst Germany, organised as usual, picked them off on the counter attack - Gomez twice the benefactor of clever passes from ‘the Brain’, Bastian Schweinsteiger.

The Dutch did get a lifeline midway through the 2^nd half; Van Persie’s stunning right-footed swinger leaving Neuer flapping at thin air. But, as has been the case so often before, rather than being galvanised by the goal, the neurotic Dutch imploded - Robben highlighting the psychological demons that haunt Holland by stomping off the opposite side of the pitch when his number was shown by the 4^th official. On his eventual arrival at the dug out, Robben proceeded to toss his jersey away and sit on his lonesome... I presume Robben will be unavailable for their final group game given the number of toys that must be retrieved and returned to his pram.

The result means that The World Cup finalists of 2010 are staring at expulsion from the competition, and truthfully, only have themselves to blame. As previously stated, they have opted for 2 holding players in the centre of the park, trading creativity for a resolute defence, yet have probably been the most languid side without possession. Rafael Van Der Vaart will surely step in for the leggy Van Bommel in game 3! (I hope so! my reputation down 'Ye Olde Pube' may ride on it)

Anyway, preceding the box office fixture above, was the clash between Denmark and Portugal; eventually finishing 3 – 2 to the Portuguese.

The game was a roller-coaster, first dipping in Portugal’s favour through goals from Pepe and, the prolific (Spurs fan will vouch for this) Helder Postiga; before returning to equilibrium 10 minutes from time. Ever popular, ever modest, Nicklas Bendtner, popped up with both Danish goals; AND popped down his shorts to expose, not the normal tighty-whiteys, but an endorsed pair of green  undercrackers... 1. Do you not think it presumptuous that Bendtner of all people wear these boxers? 2. 10/10 for initiative, but I hope a certain Irish betting company will ‘‘hear you’’, when you ask them for funds to pay UEFA’s fine.

The equalizer from Denmark had come on the back of poor finishing from Ronaldo; who really should have wrapped the game up on a couple of occasions. Varela’s thumping winner then, after 87 minutes, was met with a huge sigh of relief by Ronaldo and Co. Not only 3 points banked for Portugal, but an extra life for Holland - all 4 teams with a theoretical chance of progression.

Team	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
Germany	2	2	0	0	3	1	+2	6
Portugal	2	1	0	1	3	3	0	3
Denmark	2	1	0	1	3	3	0	3
Netherlands	2	0	0	2	1	3	−2	0

It's the Germans who occupy (poor choice of verb) top spot, and they're a certainty to quaify. To accompany them: - I have to stand by my tip, Holland...

BC
@BobbyCowsill

GROUP A - Czech Rep/Greece/Poland/Russia

In a prior article I remarked about how uninspired I was by the prospect of ‘meteoric clashes’ between the likes of Poland and Greece. Well, Group A’s 1^st fixture, and the tournament curtain raiser, was that such tie. Played out in front of a hysterical crowd in the National Stadium, Warsaw, the game transpired to be very watchable indeed... The Greeks, much like their economy as a whole, organised, and full of endeavour; whilst their opponents, buoyed by home support, were lively, and splattered with genuine, albeit unpronounceable, talent.

The real spine tingling moment of the game was produced by one such Pole Star, Robert Lewandowski stooping from the kind of heights that receive audible BBC Radio 5 Live signal, to plant his head on a cross that Greek goalkeeper, Chalkias, very characteristically, flapped at.

This goal unfortunately served to return Poland to their shell; and with the first half petering out, the host nation were provided a much needed, and presumably obligatory, ‘foot-up’ by the Spanish referee; who seemingly felt Papastathopoulos’ aftershave was deserving of a 2^nd bookable offence (he must have been wearing the pungent, ‘Sex Panther’ - “60% of the time, it works every time”) – I can’t think of a more plausible explanation!

10 man Greece fought back admirably after the break though, and levelled in the 51st minute through substitute Salpigidis. The Mediterranean’s could, and probably should, have gone on to take the 3 points, following the dismissal of Polish keeper Szczesny, and the subsequent penalty award; however Greek captain Karagounis saw his spot kick saved, and the 2004 winners were unable to turn their momentum into victory.

A point a piece, in a game that had a bit of everything; but ultimately that would have left the Greek manager the more subdued - the value of his savings having dwindled significantly in the last 90 minutes.

Elsewhere on opening night, two established provincial sides from Czechoslovakia and USSR, went head to head in a game that produced a total of 5 goals; 4 for Russia, and a solitary marker for the Czech Republic.

(Dzagoev: A soon-to-be familiar face)

Much hyped in his homeland, the evening saw Alan Dzagoev introduce himself to Western Europe with a superb brace. Dzagoev’s first, the game’s opener, a drilled effort from the edge of the box, following rugby star, Petr Cech’s, initial parry.
This goal set the platform for a fine Russian display. Architected by the aforementioned Dzagoev, and former/current Arsenal man, Andrey Arshavin (I’m assured it’s a player, not a pre-match streamlining exercise in the mode of an Olympic swimmer), the Russians broke through the Czech defence on countless occasions. Unfortunately, almost all the chances fell to centre forward Kerzhakov, who so far this tournament, couldn’t hit the ground if he threw a stone at it. Kerzhakov’s best moment, for me, coming after he ghosted onto a through-ball... calmly dropped a shoulder... performed an immaculate ‘Cruyff turn’ in the box, that sent not only the defender skidding to the turf, but most of the stadium... paused... looked up... showed great composure to pick his spot... before slicing the ball wildly into the middle of next week.

Kerzhakov’s replacement, Roman Pavlyuchenko, was somewhat less wasteful however, thumping the final cherry on the iron cake, past a helpless Petr Cech; having first weaved the Czech defence into a nice farewell cardigan for Harry Redknapp.

The 2^nd round of games in Group A, saw the Czech Republic recover from their opening day capitulation to beat an unfortunate Greece by 2 goals to 1. Both Czech goals were scored in the opening 10 minutes; and Greece, despite have chances, were unable to overhaul the deficit.

This result meant victory for Russia over historic rivals Poland would ensure their progress to the knock-out stages. The match was played to a backdrop of tension and hostility; fuelled further by the Russians UEFA charge, and their march through Warsaw - this time to commemorate their national day.

Russia’s Kerzahkov again staked his claim as the modern day Noah Hickey (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQbBTPcIDbs), time after time making intelligent runs, before coolly blazing the ball high and/or wide. But it was the headline grabber from match one, Dzagoev, who broke the deadlock; glancing the ball past Szczesny’s replacement, Tyton; following an expertly delivered free-kick.

The Russian’s looked flatter than a cat walk model post half time, and the Poles capitalised through a fabulous 20 yard strike from captain,Baszacowski Blaszczykovski Blaszszszszaa ‘Kuba’. The quality of the finish, the eruption of the home crowd, and the importance of the goal to the nation, arguably making this the moment of the tournament so far.

One each at the final whistle; both sides with a good chance of progression to the latter stages: -

Team	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
Russia	2	1	1	0	5	2	+3	4
Czech Republic	2	1	0	1	3	5	−2	3
Poland	2	0	2	0	2	2	0	2
Greece	2	0	1	1	2	3	−1	1

All the participants have a mathematical chance of qualification (assuming Russian misdemeanors aren't punished with a 6 point deduction); but Russia's quality, and Poland's heart, dictates they are likely to progress. As a by-product, the aforementioned would lead to Greece's Euro exit... does that sound right to you Frau Merkel?

(Angela Merkel's response)

BC
@BobbyCowsill
facebook group:- 'if that had gone in, it would have been a goal'

GROUP D - England/France/Sweden/Ukraine

After England’s comfortable win over Sweden last night, they remarkably find themselves on the brink of qualification to the knock out stages; needing only to avoid defeat against co-hosts Ukraine on Tuesday (they'll probably still snatch defeat from the jaws of victory).

(Don't fret ladies, I believe he's available)

The first of England’s 4 points was banked with a credible draw against a French team consisting of, what certain connoisseurs in the industry call, ‘top top players’; Nasri, Benzema, and the always picturesque, Franck Ribery (see right), to name a few.

Joleon Lescott headed the game’s opening goal, connecting with England captain, Steven ‘Steeeeevie Gerrarrrrrrd’ Gerrard’s expertly delivered set piece. The lead was short lived however, tom-boy Samir Nasri silencing the English faithfully, and the French critics, by smashing a superb equalizer past clubmate, Joe Hart, from 20 yards.

The second half lasted about a fortnight, or at least felt like it did, as England, employing the much maligned ‘Chelsea tactics’ (why not Rangers 2008, or Internazionale 2010?), successfully stifled the waves of French offense.

Elsewhere in Group D, co-hosts Ukraine got their competition underway against, what I assume was, a Zlatan ‘the workhorse’ Ibrahimovic, and Ikea/ Volvo/Eriksson combined 11.

Needless to say, Ibrahimovic scored for Sweden; but Ukraine answered back immediately, former Chelski spectator, Andrei Shevchenko, bagging a dramatic pair.

(Konoplyanka & Shevchenko celebrate Ukraine goal)

The Ukrainians didn't fair so well in their 2^nd group game however; losing 2 nil, to current group toppers, France, in a game that officially lasted longer than AVB’s Chelsea tenancy!

(Fans embrace the weather
& each other... could
almost be 'The Notebook')

The match got off to a bang, quite literally; as the first clap of thunder momentarily interrupted La Marseillaise. This proved to be a warning of what was to come... with the ball in play for only a few minutes, the heavens opened; and subsequently the thunder returned. So not to distract us all from the aerial spectacle, and some la-de-dah about health and safety, referee Bjorn Kuipers ushered the players from the playing surface. Cue the party! To a soundtrack provided by the ‘fat’ rain from romantic comedy films, coupled with deafening rumbles of thunder; and a visual of fork lightning piercing the sky overhead; fans began to conger, sing, embrace, remove clothes, and even mimic swimming in the puddles - a quite breathtaking ensemble.

Once the cylindrical wall of rain (see right) inside the stadium had subsided, some football did break out. France eventually running out 2 nil victors, following a quick fire double scored by Menez, and Cabaye, respectively.

The final fixture in the group was the aforementioned 3 – 2 hiding England dished out to bogey team, Sweden.

Having led 1 nil through long haired, and long limbed striker, Andy Carroll’s powerful first half header, England proceeded to give all their associates a fright early in the 2nd... 2 set pieces; both met by former Aston Villa caveman, Olof Mellberg; both bundled into the net.

As an immediate response, England’s only surviving charisma donor, Roy Hodgson, replaced the tireless James Milner with sprinter and aspiring footballer, Theo Walcott.

With 64 minutes on the clock: Isaksson first denies John Terry with a superb instinctive save, but from the resulting corner, the ball is only half cleared by the Swedes... falling to Walcott on the edge of the box... his powerful effort is deflected off Seb Larsson and arrows into the net – 2 all.

And Walcott wasn’t finished, surging past Larsson and Olsson, before crossing for Danny Welbeck to complete England’s come back. Real time didn’t do justice to Welbeck’s finish; taking the ball at waist height, and slightly behind him, he managed to twist, and deflect the ball off his heel and into the net – surely a nomination for goal of the tournament. 

So, after all the excitement, Group D looks like this: -

Team	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
France	2	1	1	0	3	1	+2	4
England	2	1	1	0	4	3	+1	4
Ukraine	2	1	0	1	2	3	−1	3
Sweden	2	0	0	2	3	5	−2	0

England and France are now clear favourites to progress; but the top 3 all have their destiny in their own hands. Sadly, however, Sweden have now flat packed their team hotel, filled their lunch boxes with Surströmming, and refuelled the Volvo team bus.

BC
@BobbyCowsill
Facebook Group: ''if that had gone in, it would have been a goal"

*Additional Group Reports to come shortly..