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| (I realise this is out of date however the designer is considerably more adept at photoshop than I am! - thanks whoever you are (unless you're a traffic warden or Diego Simeone)) |
The 2012/2013 season is still very much in its infancy and many backroom staff
members will be finding their feet and/or adjusting to new surroundings...
What better time then for the chairman of the club to dust off
the P45 forms (or more likely replenish
the depleted stocks) and clear out the off-field personnel? – some of which will have had no interaction with, and hence no influence what-so-ever on, the mal-practicing 1st XI (victims instead of considerably cheaper redundancy terms).
Though we all feel great sadness when the likes of the U-14 assistant coach gets laid off, the sole focus of this article will be the snappily dressed (Mr Pulis aside), pace-maker installed, managers of the Premier League.
With 6 games played per team (15.7894..% of the season no less!) if you’re not flying high, or your chairman is Mike Ashley, then it could be time for the chop. But who is going to win this year’s wooden spoon award for the first managerial casualty/exit through 'mutual consent'?
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| (Mr Pulis. The customary glasses and baseball cap combo - don't try this at home) |
With 6 games played per team (15.7894..% of the season no less!) if you’re not flying high, or your chairman is Mike Ashley, then it could be time for the chop. But who is going to win this year’s wooden spoon award for the first managerial casualty/exit through 'mutual consent'?
Here are Patrick Power’s main contenders as at 24 September 2012 (I must advise you that equally Irish bookmakers are also available): -
Nigel Adkins 3/1
Mark Hughes 4/1
Brendan Rodgers 5/1
Andre Villas-Boas 5/1
Sam Allardyce 6/1
Tony Pulis 10/1
Chris Hughton 14/1
Roberto Di Matteo 16/1
Paul Lambert 16/1
Alan Pardew 25/1
Mr Adkins
It will come as no surprise to you, that the bookmakers are rarely wrong; we've all put a 403 game accumulator bet down that looks like a sure thing, despite the bookie issuing odds of circa 7,800,000 /1... and have we won? No of course we *insert French word here* haven't! We wouldn't be sat here reading/writing this drivel if we had!
With the above in mind, Mr Adkins ought to start padding out his Curriculum Vitae with some voluntary work, and/or by retaking his cycle proficiency, because the people in 'the know' have predicted his cushy Premiership post may be about to end... it's even been muttered that ex-Portsmouth, Southampton, and Portsmouth manager 'Arry Redknapp may be in line to replace him.
As my previous release of 20 September outlined, Southampton, despite record breaking spending, are favourites for relegation - you may recall that only Lyndsey Lohan's breakdown was more widely predicted. When any side begins to struggle, as Southampton invariably will, then the manager's position comes under the spotlight. This will be accentuated further by the significant bank rolling of the Chairman Nicola Cortese in the off-season.
As you are aware, football suffers from short-termism, and though Mr Adkins has performed minor miracles to turn the organisation around in recent years, culminating in back-to-back promotions, he is by no means exempt from the 'sack race'. Neil Warnock (2012), Chris Hughton (2010) and Billy Davies (2007) will vouch for this, having all been dismissed in controversial circumstances following difficult initiations to the top tier of English football.
One to watch, especially when events unravel as quickly as they do in the sphere of football. But personally, I feel Mr Adkins is one Merseysider who won't be queuing at the Job Centre any time soon.
Mr Hughes
It's something of a revolving door at Queens Park Rangers, with board room changes, huge turnover in the playing body, and managerial overhaul, all seen in recent seasons. Sparky may only have taken the post on 10 January this year but he's already a comparative veteran of Loftus Road; usurped only by grandfather time, Shaun Derry.
This 'easy come, easy go' mentality must be of concern to Mr Hughes in light of QPR's dismal start. To date, they have yet to win a game in 2012/2013 season, and were unceremoniously dumped out of the Capital C for Cup by Reading.
Despite the lavish overhaul of the first team, QPR's results against their peers haven't been good enough; defeat at the hands of Swansea, the aforementioned result against Reading, and a draw with Norwich, all evidence of this underachievement. The statistics speak for themselves; no club has scored less, and only Southampton conceded more, in the Premiership thus far. In Layman's terms, their defensive is leakier than an excited geriatric, and their attack only marginally less impotent.
Personally, I think Mr Hughes' days at QPR are numbered. Afterall, he has been provided with considerably more financial clout than his competitors, and has benefitted from adequate time at the helm (10 months (9 months longer than the average manager)), yet continues to struggle. Excuses about the board's ambitions, or lacking finances, are clearly not applicable; therefore it can be concluded Sparky simply isn't getting satisfactory results from a team that HE has assembled.
Mr Rodgers
If you are a Liverpool follower that promotes results as the primary objective of the manager, then I fear Mr Rodgers could be trying your patience... yes, the philosophy of football is endearing, but there won't be many that enjoyed losing to bitter rivals United in gameweek 5; especially on such an emotional occasion. On the day, United were ponderous, unadventurous, and darn-right lucky, BUT the score goes down as 2 - 1 in the Mancunian club's favour.
In addition to the failure against United, Liverpool have suffered at the hands of Arsenal and West Brom this season, and currently find themselves 14th in the league table. Worse still, until their comprehensive victory over Norwich last weekend, they sat 18th; cue amusing graffiti (see right). It may only be early days, but the poor run Rodgers has overseen, has already put Liverpool a full 11 points adrift of table-topping Chelsea.
Liverpool traditionally give time to their manager (see the 6 years some tubby Spanish waiter was allowed), and as a result, Mr Rodgers is unlikely to be the first Premiership manager out of the door. In addition, the fans are aware that Liverpool's board failed to tie up the signatures of two players that Rodgers desperately wanted to bring in; namely, 'shoot-on-sight' merchant Sigurdsson, and the unkempt Dempsey. Fenway Sports Group's ownership is somewhat controversial at the best of times, and I can not see the justice fuelled Liverpool fans accepting Rodgers' sacking given the boardroom errors.
Rodgers then, a manager under the sort of pressure that can usually only be seen on The Crystal Maze, but not in my mind in immediate jeopardy. If results don't turn around, I'd expect to see Rodgers delving into the January sales and/or recalling Carroll... If that doesn't kick start the scousers, then Mr Rodgers probably won't preside over the full season.
Mr Villas-Boas
Comparable in opinion polls to the coalition, '2 and a half men', the films of Peter Jackson, 60's architecture, punctuation... and small pox, Mr Villas Boas is not going to win many popularity contests amongst fans; especially after the disappointing spell he had at Chelsea.
More concerning perhaps was AVB's effect upon the PFA's members during his first venture into English football. The reports that surfaced from Stamford Bridge during, and following, AVB's departure indicate that his man-management techniques were either idiosyncratic or obsolete. Accounts indicate that many of the more experienced players felt isolated, and this manifested itself in the departures of Alex and Anelka early in AVB's Chelsea reign, and also in Frank Lampard's statement in which he proclaimed that playing under AVB had "not been ideal". The constant rumours of discontent within the camp during his tenure, even reported in reputable press such as The Star, were clearly not without foundation. The concern is that this effect could carry over to the Spurs dressing-room; and The Sun's headline, "Spurs in Turmoil", cannot aid his cause.
Last weekend's win at Old Trafford, Tottenham Hotspur's first since the collapse of the Roman Empire, will have relieved the pressure on the manager a great deal, and AVB's 'drunk uncle at a wedding' celebration highlighted the significance of the achievement. With the tide turning at Spurs, Mr Villas-Boas is now looking like a long shot for the unwanted sack-race title.
Mr Allardyce
Analysing West Ham United's start to the new term you could be forgiven for thinking that Big-Sam has removed his sheepskin jacket, placed his sovereign rings on the rosewood cabinet, slipped his crushed velvet smoking jacket on, and reclined into West Ham's leopard print arm chair for the long haul. However, what you ignore at your peril is that Big-Sam's bosses are pornography magnates Gold and Sullivan; and thus equally as bumptious. Now I'm in no way insinuating that the Hammers owners are 'wide boys', but Gold's father was a convicted east-end gangster (http://theboleyninheritance.wordpress.com/2011/10/03/goldy-the-getaway-driver-and-his-75k-swag/), and Mr Sullivan did a stretch in the 1980's. What's this have to do with football I hear you ask... well, with so many egos (says Jeffrey...) all under one roof, an implosion could be lurking at any board meeting... here today, suing for unfair dismissal tomorrow. For this reason alone Mr Allardyce must be handed a disused potato sack and ushered to the start line.
Returning to on-field matters, West Ham's abysmal showing in the League Cup, a competition Mr Allardyce had suggested was winnable, could also have an effect. The Hammers were crushed 4 - 1 at Upton Park by Wigan Athletic in a performance Allardyce described as "comical" - that's the sort of masochistic mind-set that Gold & Sullivan's retail empire has thrived on the back of.
Despite this disappointing showing in the League cup, West Ham bounced back with victory against fellow relegation candidates QPR on Monday night; they now sit in a very credible 7th spot in the Premiership on 11 points.
In summary, an unlikely candidate on current form, but with the ever looming threat of a board room 'bun-fight', or the fans clamour for Paulo Di Canio to take-over, Mr Allardyce remains a candidate for dismissal.
Mr Pulis
This might seem an unlikely choice given the success that Mr Pulis has brought to Stoke City's 1st XV; but it's worth bearing in mind that Steve Kean has just been relieved of his post at Blackburn Rovers (such was his affinity with the fans that The Samaritans are rumoured to be setting up a hotline). Mr Kean's position at Rovers was generally considered bomb-proof given the success he'd brought to the club (despite the odd abusive outburst at his Director of Football & his former boss, oh, and the small matter of relegation); so to see Mr Kean "forced to resign" will have every manager including Mr Pulis looking over their shoulder.
It's been a rather dreary start to the season for the Potters too, having drawn 4 of their first 6 games; winning one and losing the other to high flying Chelsea. But it's the resoluteness that those draws convey, that consistently drives Stoke City to comfortable mid-table football; and as long as the fans and board are content with that, then Mr Pulis' job is as safe as Gordon Bank's hands. The only reason I can see that Paddy Power have included Mr Pulis, is the possible availability of Graham Henry.
The Best/Worst of the Rest
Of the residual members of the aforementioned list, Pardew can be totally discounted having just extended his contract by an unprecedented 8 years. How many of those projected years Pardew will actually occupy will remain to be seen (I'm not sure anyone has ever stayed in the city of Newcastle for that long, and certainly not through choice), but he's guaranteed to outstay his competitors.
In addition, and despite having the fearsome Mr Abramovich as his employer, Di Matteo has brought Chelsea their illusive Champions League trophy and begun the new campaign in fine shape. I would only expect to see those with the financial nouse of an RBS investment banker to place their cash on Di Matteo to be the first Premier League manager dismissed.
Paul Lambert and his replacement at Norwich City, Chris Hughton, are also indicated in the shortlist. They are both new to their respective clubs but arrive under differing pressures. Mr Lambert takes over an underachieving Aston Villa outfit, and must burden the expectation levels of the fans; whilst Hughton must continue the great work of Lambert at Delia's Norwich City. Neither have enhanced their new surroundings thus far, and without imminent improvement, their names could soon float to the fore of the rumour pages.
- Where will you be placing your spouse's money?
- Should any other managers be considered?
Thank you for scan reading..
Please share with your enemies
BC
@BobbyCowsill
facebook group - http://www.facebook.com/groups/262906063816351/
With the above in mind, Mr Adkins ought to start padding out his Curriculum Vitae with some voluntary work, and/or by retaking his cycle proficiency, because the people in 'the know' have predicted his cushy Premiership post may be about to end... it's even been muttered that ex-Portsmouth, Southampton, and Portsmouth manager 'Arry Redknapp may be in line to replace him.
As my previous release of 20 September outlined, Southampton, despite record breaking spending, are favourites for relegation - you may recall that only Lyndsey Lohan's breakdown was more widely predicted. When any side begins to struggle, as Southampton invariably will, then the manager's position comes under the spotlight. This will be accentuated further by the significant bank rolling of the Chairman Nicola Cortese in the off-season.
As you are aware, football suffers from short-termism, and though Mr Adkins has performed minor miracles to turn the organisation around in recent years, culminating in back-to-back promotions, he is by no means exempt from the 'sack race'. Neil Warnock (2012), Chris Hughton (2010) and Billy Davies (2007) will vouch for this, having all been dismissed in controversial circumstances following difficult initiations to the top tier of English football.
One to watch, especially when events unravel as quickly as they do in the sphere of football. But personally, I feel Mr Adkins is one Merseysider who won't be queuing at the Job Centre any time soon.
Mr Hughes
It's something of a revolving door at Queens Park Rangers, with board room changes, huge turnover in the playing body, and managerial overhaul, all seen in recent seasons. Sparky may only have taken the post on 10 January this year but he's already a comparative veteran of Loftus Road; usurped only by grandfather time, Shaun Derry.
This 'easy come, easy go' mentality must be of concern to Mr Hughes in light of QPR's dismal start. To date, they have yet to win a game in 2012/2013 season, and were unceremoniously dumped out of the Capital C for Cup by Reading.
Despite the lavish overhaul of the first team, QPR's results against their peers haven't been good enough; defeat at the hands of Swansea, the aforementioned result against Reading, and a draw with Norwich, all evidence of this underachievement. The statistics speak for themselves; no club has scored less, and only Southampton conceded more, in the Premiership thus far. In Layman's terms, their defensive is leakier than an excited geriatric, and their attack only marginally less impotent.
Personally, I think Mr Hughes' days at QPR are numbered. Afterall, he has been provided with considerably more financial clout than his competitors, and has benefitted from adequate time at the helm (10 months (9 months longer than the average manager)), yet continues to struggle. Excuses about the board's ambitions, or lacking finances, are clearly not applicable; therefore it can be concluded Sparky simply isn't getting satisfactory results from a team that HE has assembled.
Mr Rodgers
If you are a Liverpool follower that promotes results as the primary objective of the manager, then I fear Mr Rodgers could be trying your patience... yes, the philosophy of football is endearing, but there won't be many that enjoyed losing to bitter rivals United in gameweek 5; especially on such an emotional occasion. On the day, United were ponderous, unadventurous, and darn-right lucky, BUT the score goes down as 2 - 1 in the Mancunian club's favour.
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| (Scouse whit at it's best (watch and learn Paul O'Grady!) |
In addition to the failure against United, Liverpool have suffered at the hands of Arsenal and West Brom this season, and currently find themselves 14th in the league table. Worse still, until their comprehensive victory over Norwich last weekend, they sat 18th; cue amusing graffiti (see right). It may only be early days, but the poor run Rodgers has overseen, has already put Liverpool a full 11 points adrift of table-topping Chelsea.
Liverpool traditionally give time to their manager (see the 6 years some tubby Spanish waiter was allowed), and as a result, Mr Rodgers is unlikely to be the first Premiership manager out of the door. In addition, the fans are aware that Liverpool's board failed to tie up the signatures of two players that Rodgers desperately wanted to bring in; namely, 'shoot-on-sight' merchant Sigurdsson, and the unkempt Dempsey. Fenway Sports Group's ownership is somewhat controversial at the best of times, and I can not see the justice fuelled Liverpool fans accepting Rodgers' sacking given the boardroom errors.
Rodgers then, a manager under the sort of pressure that can usually only be seen on The Crystal Maze, but not in my mind in immediate jeopardy. If results don't turn around, I'd expect to see Rodgers delving into the January sales and/or recalling Carroll... If that doesn't kick start the scousers, then Mr Rodgers probably won't preside over the full season.
Mr Villas-Boas
Comparable in opinion polls to the coalition, '2 and a half men', the films of Peter Jackson, 60's architecture, punctuation... and small pox, Mr Villas Boas is not going to win many popularity contests amongst fans; especially after the disappointing spell he had at Chelsea.
More concerning perhaps was AVB's effect upon the PFA's members during his first venture into English football. The reports that surfaced from Stamford Bridge during, and following, AVB's departure indicate that his man-management techniques were either idiosyncratic or obsolete. Accounts indicate that many of the more experienced players felt isolated, and this manifested itself in the departures of Alex and Anelka early in AVB's Chelsea reign, and also in Frank Lampard's statement in which he proclaimed that playing under AVB had "not been ideal". The constant rumours of discontent within the camp during his tenure, even reported in reputable press such as The Star, were clearly not without foundation. The concern is that this effect could carry over to the Spurs dressing-room; and The Sun's headline, "Spurs in Turmoil", cannot aid his cause.
Last weekend's win at Old Trafford, Tottenham Hotspur's first since the collapse of the Roman Empire, will have relieved the pressure on the manager a great deal, and AVB's 'drunk uncle at a wedding' celebration highlighted the significance of the achievement. With the tide turning at Spurs, Mr Villas-Boas is now looking like a long shot for the unwanted sack-race title.
Mr Allardyce
Returning to on-field matters, West Ham's abysmal showing in the League Cup, a competition Mr Allardyce had suggested was winnable, could also have an effect. The Hammers were crushed 4 - 1 at Upton Park by Wigan Athletic in a performance Allardyce described as "comical" - that's the sort of masochistic mind-set that Gold & Sullivan's retail empire has thrived on the back of.
Despite this disappointing showing in the League cup, West Ham bounced back with victory against fellow relegation candidates QPR on Monday night; they now sit in a very credible 7th spot in the Premiership on 11 points.
In summary, an unlikely candidate on current form, but with the ever looming threat of a board room 'bun-fight', or the fans clamour for Paulo Di Canio to take-over, Mr Allardyce remains a candidate for dismissal.
Mr Pulis
This might seem an unlikely choice given the success that Mr Pulis has brought to Stoke City's 1st XV; but it's worth bearing in mind that Steve Kean has just been relieved of his post at Blackburn Rovers (such was his affinity with the fans that The Samaritans are rumoured to be setting up a hotline). Mr Kean's position at Rovers was generally considered bomb-proof given the success he'd brought to the club (despite the odd abusive outburst at his Director of Football & his former boss, oh, and the small matter of relegation); so to see Mr Kean "forced to resign" will have every manager including Mr Pulis looking over their shoulder.
It's been a rather dreary start to the season for the Potters too, having drawn 4 of their first 6 games; winning one and losing the other to high flying Chelsea. But it's the resoluteness that those draws convey, that consistently drives Stoke City to comfortable mid-table football; and as long as the fans and board are content with that, then Mr Pulis' job is as safe as Gordon Bank's hands. The only reason I can see that Paddy Power have included Mr Pulis, is the possible availability of Graham Henry.
The Best/Worst of the Rest
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| (Benwell, an affluent suburb of Newcastle - these mansions are thought to be owned by posh shandy-drinking Southerners) |
In addition, and despite having the fearsome Mr Abramovich as his employer, Di Matteo has brought Chelsea their illusive Champions League trophy and begun the new campaign in fine shape. I would only expect to see those with the financial nouse of an RBS investment banker to place their cash on Di Matteo to be the first Premier League manager dismissed.
Paul Lambert and his replacement at Norwich City, Chris Hughton, are also indicated in the shortlist. They are both new to their respective clubs but arrive under differing pressures. Mr Lambert takes over an underachieving Aston Villa outfit, and must burden the expectation levels of the fans; whilst Hughton must continue the great work of Lambert at Delia's Norwich City. Neither have enhanced their new surroundings thus far, and without imminent improvement, their names could soon float to the fore of the rumour pages.
- Where will you be placing your spouse's money?
- Should any other managers be considered?
Thank you for scan reading..
Please share with your enemies
BC
@BobbyCowsill
facebook group - http://www.facebook.com/groups/262906063816351/
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